Posted inEntertainment Home life

When the wife’s away…

When the wife’s away, the husband will play. Naturally. That’s why Laurel left me this note prominently displayed above the sink, where she knew I’ve have to go periodically to marvel at how high the dirty dish pile had grown, before she left for her nephew’s wedding celebration in Indiana. The note only contains reminders regarding care of the (wild) birds, (tame) dog, and (deck) plants. This auxiliary note was taped above the dog’s water bowl in case I needed a clue as to why Serena’s tongue was hanging out and she was spending all of her time staring longingly…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Why are conservatives afraid of conservatives?

A Reuters article about Iran’s newly-elected “ultra-conservative” President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, got me to thinking about why conservatives are so afraid of other conservatives. The Bush administration is ultra-conservative. Iran’s leader is ultra-conservative. Sharing a similar position on the political spectrum, shouldn’t they get along wonderfully? Imagine (oh God, yes, imagine) that the United States had an ultra-liberal President and Iran had elected an equally liberal head of state. Would there be the same clash between like and like? No. Bush and his cronies can’t stand Ahmadinejad because he is religiously fundamentalist and politically nationalistic. Thus he’s just like them. Except,…
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Posted inWriting/Weblogs

Rejection letter humor

There's a lot of rejection letter humor on the Internet. The best of it is put there by people who reject the rejection letters rather than letting the letters drag them down into drunken despair, which is just what the bastards who sent them want. I came across this classic today. It's probably been circulating in cyberspace for a long time, but I hadn't seen it before. And I like this rejected writer's sardonic reply style. I'm still waiting to hear back from Beacon Press about my query concerning my own ultimate rejection letter. I'll keep checking the mailbox.
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Posted inEntertainment

Images of 2005 Salem World Beat Festival

Laurel is in Indiana for a nephew’s wedding celebration, so I was on my own yesterday at Salem’s riverfront World Beat Festival. There are lots of things not to like about Salem, but the June World Beat Festival and July Art Fair temporarily liven up this excessively laid back town. Right away my karma drew me to some Tibetan booths. I soon became the owner of two “Made in Nepal” yin-yang T-shirts, perfect for wearing to my tai-chi class (what I lack in tai chi skills I try to make up for with Taoist attire). Then, appropriately enough, I trekked…
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Posted inDogs

Free kittens with purchase

I am so happy that our dog neither (1) knows how to read, nor (2) has a credit card. If both of these things were true, Serena’s account would be maxed out to the limit with buys from this Salem establishment.
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Posted inNeighborhood

Salem escapees head for Portland’s Sellwood area

Sellwood neighborhood residents: notwithstanding the title of this post, you don’t need to lock your doors and keep a baseball bat near at hand. The Salem escapees I’m referring to are utterly gentle souls, Mark and Lynda. They’re friends of ours who recently bought a Sellwood condo on the Willamette River. I ran into Mark yesterday at Salem’s one and only decent natural food store, LifeSource. Mark said that they had started moving into the condo on Saturday and should be finished this coming weekend. So they’re short-timers. Just a few days left on their Salem sentence. That’s the way…
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Posted inHome life Recreation

Trail rides turn tame

It’s Laurel’s birthday today. She’s not too old to go on a Black Butte Stables trail ride with her cowboy, and that’s all I’ll say about her age. Except, Laurel looks a lot younger than her XX years. Also, those XX years haven’t brought her hugely proficient arithmetic skills, because up until a few weeks ago she thought that today she was going to be XX + 1. When I pointed out her math error, Laurel was greatly relieved. “All year I thought I was going to be XX + 1,” she said. “Wow! You’ve taken a year off of…
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Posted inMiscellany

Salem friend second in National Senior Spelling Bee

Congratulations to Bill Long, a friend and fellow Salemite, for placing second—once again—in the 2005 National Senior Spelling Bee. As Bill notes in his “Speller’s Diary,” the national winner, David Riddle, also won the 2005 Oregon Spelling Bee. Hey, what is a California attorney doing in an Oregon spelling bee? Isn’t there a state law against such a thing? If not, there should be. But Riddle does seem like a deserving champion. Anyone who can spell “mulligatawny” (a soup) correctly gets a bow from me. Well, Bill can take heart in being the poster boy for the 2005 National Senior…
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Posted inRecreation

Belly-dancing and fast food in Sisters

In the course of meandering along the Sisters Art Stroll this afternoon we encountered belly dancers entertaining passers-by—most of whom stopped passing, as did we, to watch this contrarian bit of cowboy town culture. Sisters is special. It’s sort of central Oregon’s Cannon Beach—a town with character, wise business signage and design rules, and artistic flair—while Bend is growing uncomfortably akin to Lincoln City, a minimally planned sprawl of malls, dense slow-moving traffic, and garish fast-food restaurants. Picking up a copy of Sister’s weekly newspaper, The Nugget, we saw that the city council voted 3-2 to reject a proposed ordinance…
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Posted inBooks Philosophy

My satori is near at hand

Clearly my final enlightenment—satori!—is near at hand, for I have bought a book that will lead me there: D.T. Suzuki’s “The Zen Koan as a means of Attaining Enlightenment.” The clerk at Salem’s Book Bin was suitably impressed with my purchase, telling me “We hope you’ll come back after your enlightenment and share your realization.” I said, “Absolutely. I plan to charge $8 for this dispensation of wisdom, which will enable me to realize a 50 cent profit from buying this $7.50 book.” Obviously my spiritual motives are pure. So pure that a humble part of me continually whispers, “Brian,…
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Posted inCurrent affairs Writing/Weblogs

Blogging retrospective

I’m in a look-back mood today… The position I took in “Religious zealots run amok in Terri Schiavo case” has been proven to be absolutely correct, now that the results of Schiavo’s autopsy have been released. Schiavo was brain-dead and blind when Frist and other Christian fundamentalists were claiming that she could recognize people and follow a moving balloon with her eyes. Memo from God to Earth: Science, including neurology, is how you learn about creation—faith is a crock of shit when it comes to knowing reality. (When She speaks through me, God likes to use earthy language to get…
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Posted inCurrent affairs Writing/Weblogs

Political blogger bumper sticker quiz

Here’s a can’t-miss quiz for you. Match this blogger’s car with the political weblog that he or she contributes to. Is it (A) The Oregon Republican Party’s Journal, or (B) BlueOregon? (enlarge the photo by clicking on it to read the bumper stickers). Answer is here. Yes, this car belongs to Trey Smith, BlueOregon contributor who was the Socialist Party candidate for Governor in 1998 (I like Trey’s statement in the election guide under “Prior Governmental Experience: none”—to my mind that’s an excellent qualification.) Trey is someone who definitely doesn’t need to go to a How to feel free to…
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Posted inHome life

Baby robin and headless dog

Laurel is a published photographer—with help from me. At Laurel's request I sent her “Feed Me!” photo of a begging baby robin off to the Salem Statesman-Journal and it was printed today in the Click! section where interesting reader photos are featured (no online access, I'm sorry to say). It doesn’t look as good in black and white as it does in color, and I wish the newspaper had taken my advice and cropped it as it appeared on my weblog posting. Still, it’s a great shot that required some stealthy sneaking to capture. Congratulations to Laurel. I’m envious, of…
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Posted inEntertainment

MTV Movie Awards

We watched every minute of the two-hour MTV Movie Awards show last night (except the commercials, naturally). This is a yearly cultural duty for me. At the age of 56, and growing older by the second, I don’t want to become a old fogy who is out-of-touch with what’s happening (though my very use of that archaic term indicates that I probably am). Nonetheless, rap performances usually make me hit my digital video recorder’s “forward 30 seconds” button repeatedly until the rapper is off the screen. However, I managed to watch all of Eminem’s “song,” or whatever it is you…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Humor and facts demolish homophobia

Humor is a great way of revealing the idiocy of bigotry. The next time somebody says to you, “If gays are able to marry, it will destroy the institution of marriage,” respond with “How true. That’s just the point a woman made in ‘How my Marriage was Destroyed by the Homosexual Agenda.’ You should read this revealing essay.” It’s a great piece of satire. Here’s a sample: Constance turned on the radio in the kitchen to the Christian AM station we always listen to, and that's when our family's fate was finally sealed. The Lord's news update was saying that…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Is killing cougars a wildlife service?

“Wildlife Services.” The name of this USDA (U.S. Department of Agriculture) agency has such a nice ring to it. It conjures up a picture of distressed animals being tended to by kindly government employees. “How may I serve you today?” a needy deer or bear is asked when it gets to the front of the Wildlife Services clinic waiting line. The home page of the agency’s website tries to convey this sort of benign image. The reality is much different, as Laurel and I described on a “Coyotes don’t need killing by USDA Wildlife Services” page that we put up…
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Posted inHome life

Oh God, I’m shrinking!

Today I was pleased to find HinesSight listed on BlueOregon’s “Blogwire” of progressive Oregon blogs. However, I’m feeling really regressive at the moment, having discovered that I’m shrinking. In my baby book I found a chart, prepared by yours truly, of how I progressed to a height of 6 feet 1 ½ inches by June, 1967 when I was 19 years old. Now, at the age of 56, I’ve regressed to 6 feet ½ inch. I’m back to where I was at 17 years old. When I made this chart I never figured that I’d be adding declining entries. It’s…
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Posted inCurrent affairs Philosophy

Sweating and crying through the National Spelling Bee

There was quite a bit of sweating and crying going on during the National Spelling Bee finals today. Not so much among the contestants—they mostly were calm and composed. I was the one with jangling nerves and teary eyes during the competition. I’d never watched the National Spelling Bee before. I needed some mindless TV entertainment to pay bills by, so I channel-surfed my way to ESPN. It took me a long time to write the checks once I got hooked on the highly mindful spelling competition. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the children who strode one by…
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