Having a whale of a good time on a Maui cruise

What is it about whales? And screaming people. I had plenty of time to ponder this question on the sunset dinner cruise that left yesterday from Maui's Lahaina harbor. As memorialized in my You Tube video, you can hear our fellow passengers (and me) getting super-excited when some whales appeared close to the Pacific Whale Foundation boat. Elvis and the Beatles probably didn't get more "oohs" and "ahs" when they came on stage. Yes, there's something about whales. My philosophical self likes this notion: whales are like God. Mysterious, powerful, unseen. Usually hidden beneath the surface, once in a while…

Video tour of Kapalua zipline course

Any mildly-extreme sport that starts and ends at an expresso bar is right up our alley. That's one reason we enjoyed yesterday's outing at the Kapalua Resort's zipline adventure on Maui so much. But naturally zipping was the main attraction. We'd never zipped before. If you don't know what it is, my four minute video will show you. It's a kick. You hang on harnesses attached to what we were assured is a super-strong cable. Then you let yourself go from a platform and zip – the longest of the four courses being over 2000 feet. In the video I…

Messages to Maui’ans from an Oregon vacationer

Ah, the World Wide Web is wonderful. It lets me communicate, potentially at least, with some people on Maui that I have messages for. --To the couple in the room next door: It was so nice to get to know you early this morning – through the loud cell phone conversations on your deck. I hope your mother is able to join you on Maui. Paying for her lodging if she springs for the airline ticket sounds fair. And good luck with finding a babysitter through the nanny hotline. Hopefully she'll keep your child quieter than you've been able to.…

Maui beach people: beautiful or not?

Wanting to make our Maui vacation intellectually productive (to a minimal degree), this morning I dedicated myself to a study of people passing by us on Napili Beach. I say at the beginning that I'm going to film ten consecutive beach walkers, but my study was so interesting, I kept on going. Hypothesis: Maui beachgoers are beautiful people. Reality: watch my You Tube video (embedded below). Now, I hasten to add a politically correct statement: We are all beautiful people in our own way. That said, some are more beautiful than others. A careful viewer of the video will note…

From snow to sunshine with snafus

SNAFU is both a deeply philosophic acronym, and a pleasingly profane one. It's meaning, "Situation Normal: All Fucked Up" reflects the Buddhist reality that life is suffering. Traveling from snowy Salem, Oregon to sunny Napili Bay, Hawaii yesterday, we can testify that SNAFU is fully operative in the cosmos. Not that we needed any confirmation of that. It's just good to be reminded (albeit as infrequently as possible) that when everything is going right with life, that's an anomaly. Laurel and I started off fine, waking up bright and early for a planned 6:45 am departure from home so we'd…

How’d that old man get in my photos?!

For a moment I was ready to turn around and head back to the Fred Meyer photo counter with an angry demand that I be given my digital camera printouts, not the ones belonging to some old geezer who seemed vaguely familiar, but clearly wasn't me. Except, after the moment passed and my mind jumped back to aging reality, I realized that he was. Me. This is a new experience – looking at a photo of myself, or seeing myself in a mirror, and thinking, "Who the hell is that?" Previously, I've thought "That doesn't look like me." But now…

Watch out for dog psychic hotline

Wanted to share some recent correspondence with the Oregon Humane Society, just in case anyone else shares a home with a malcontent dog. TO: Humane Society Dog Psychic Hotline CoordinatorFROM: BrianRE: Complaint received from our family pet, Serena This is in response to your recent letter expressing concern about the reported "starvation" of our dog. As you can imagine, I was more than a little surprised to learn that the Humane Society operates a Dog Psychic Hotline. However, this is Oregon. Guess I should have seen this bit of woo-woo coming. (Except, I'm not psychic.) At first I was deeply…

Yeah, I’m bitter. It’s tax time.

There's been a whole lot of misdirected talk about bitterness lately. You want to meet someone who's really bitter? Glad to meet you. My name is Brian. I just mailed my tax payments today. Speak to me, Barack. Let me know you feel my pain, Hillary. Are you on my side, John? Not just mine. Ours. All the individuals who are paying a bigger share of the tax burden, while corporations are paying much less. Yesterday's article in Parade magazine ("Are You Paying for Corporate Fat Cats?") was beautifully timed for maximizing tax-day bitterness. A 2004 U.S. Government Accountability Office…

“Subdivided” points to ugliness of Salem

Sometimes, well often, when I'm driving around un-beautiful Salem, Oregon, I look at the atrocity of Commercial Street, Lancaster Drive, or the shuttered stores of downtown, and think "Who the hell foisted this ugliness on us?" It's amazing, really. We've gotten so used to the sterility, car-centeredness, garish billboards, utilitarian strip malls, treeless parking lots, and people-devoid sidewalks of the typical American town, the monstrosity of it all has left us numb to truly noticing it. That's why it takes a documentary like "Subdivided," which Laurel and I saw a few nights ago at Salem's Progressive Films Series, to open…

Baby boomers confront the big “boom,” death

I'm going to be sixty this year. I keep thinking that some sign of the "golden years" should have popped up by now. Instead, growing old sure looks a lot more like ashen gray then luminous. Worse, it ends in black. Death. That's the worst part of aging: dying. On the other hand, for some people it's the best part. They're so miserable from sickness, loneliness, pain, suffering, poverty, and what not, death is a relief. For everybody else – those who want to keep on living – it's an unwanted intrusion into the pleasant pursuit of existing. Which seems…

Salem Tangos, vicariously

Wow! Last night sleepy Salem became, briefly, a Tango town. Unfortunately, it was only within the walls of the Elsinore Theatre, where a touring troupe, "Forever Tango," performed. Laurel and I took quite a few Argentine Tango lessons in 2006. We've forgotten much of what we learned. And watching the amazing dancers from our mezzanine seats made us realize that whatever we know about Tango is a tiny spark compared to the sensual firestorm they threw out. A review said: If you feel that tango is just another dance, then this show may not be for you. But if it…

Heisenberg, Copenhagen, and unanswerable questions

I knew I was going to like the play, "Copenhagen," when one of the first lines said that some questions are unanswerable. That appealed to my churchless soul. As did Salem Repertory Theatre's reading of the play. For a mere five bucks each Laurel and I got to see "Copenhagen" performed last night. OK, read. But when a play has so much dialogue, and so little action, seemingly it doesn't make much difference whether the actors are sitting on stools with binders in their hands, reading, or sitting around on a stage reciting memorized lines. "Copenhagen" is about a 1941…

Me doing Tai Chi

Proving that I'm on the edge of senility and losing my better judgment, I fired up my Flip Video camera yesterday, filmed myself doing a couple of Tai Chi forms, and then uploaded them to You Tube after adding some Tango music. This afternoon I had a locker room conversation at the athletic club with a guy I'd never talked to before. He told me about playing five games of racquet ball in a tournament against an opponent where he won a total of three points. "Sometimes I love getting my ass whipped," he said. I told him, "Well, if…

Atheism isn’t a religion, Thom Hartmann

Usually I agree with Portland's Thom Hartmann, Air America's progressive talk show host. But this morning he kept saying that atheism is a religion – that not believing in God is a belief system. That's ridiculous. It shows that no matter how smart and articulate Hartmann is, he's got some blind spots. Those logic-obscurers likely stem from his Christianity. Not being a regular listener of Hartmann, I didn't know before today that he's a Christian. But he told a caller that he prays every day. And not to some universal being, but to a personal God. This probably explains why…