I become a columnist: Salem Weekly today, New York Times tomorrow?

Being a blogger is sort of like being a columnist. You get to write short essays about subjects that interest you. Those essays, a.k.a. blog posts, are published and made available to readers.  But I've always looked upon blogging as being to genuine column-writing as masturbation is to sex with another person: it's easier to do it all by yourself, yet less satisfying. It does indeed take two to tango.  So I'm thrilled to be able to say, "I am a columnist." In a real publication, made of paper (as well as pixels).  Today my first Strange Up Salem column…

Parking meters in downtown Salem might be OK if…

Recently I expressed a blunt opinion in my blog post title: "Putting parking meters in downtown Salem is a dumb idea." I appreciate the comments I've gotten. They've made me ponder further the pros and cons of downtown parking meters. I'm still opposed to the idea, but I've learned that the issue divides people in some interesting ways. I want a walkable, bikable, livable, welcoming, vibrant, attractive downtown. Some fellow advocates of this goal agree with what downtown should be, yet feel that parking meters would enhance, rather than detract from, a thriving Salem core. For example, here's a comment…

What does it mean to be “as old as I feel”?

There's a Taoist story about Chuang Tzu not knowing whether he is a man dreaming that he's a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that he's a man. This is similar to what happens when I wonder, "how old do I feel that I am?" I don't feel like I'm 64. If I don't gaze at my body, which obviously has aged, the "me" inside my head finds it difficult to tell the difference between senior citizen-me and teenager-me. Yet can I say that I'm now a teenage mind in a senior citizen body? Or should I say that when I…

Hey, airlines: let me use my Kindle before 35,000 feet

It took me a long time to start using a Kindle. I never thought I'd enjoy reading anything other than books printed on paper. But now I'm a convert -- for fiction, at least. (I still am addicted to highlighting paper pages of non-fiction books in my own personal colorful way, along with penning notes on blank endpages.) It was a delight to use my Kindle Paperwhite during a recent Maui vacation. Not so much, though, on the five hour flights to and from Portland.  Settling into my seat as the Alaska flight was about to take off, I pulled…

City of Salem fails to provide good reason for Third Bridge

I asked a great question at today's DemoForum session on whether a Third Bridge is needed in Salem, Oregon.  "Mr. Fernandez, what is the single most important reason Salem needs a Third Bridge? And please support your reason with some facts." The answer City of Salem Public Works director Peter Fernandez gave was direct, concise, and straightforward.  Also... proof that a Third Bridge isn't needed, just as No Third Bridge spokesperson Scott Bassett argued at the forum. Consider this: Fernandez is a smart guy. Also, he's an experienced engineer. He has been intimately involved with Third Bridge planning for years.…

Putting parking meters in downtown Salem is a dumb idea

There are things I wish downtown Salem (Oregon) had more of: night life, throngs of people, cool shops and art galleries, vegetarian-friendly restaurants, street musicians. Parking meters... that's something I've never wished for. Yet the City of Salem is determined to force paid parking down downtown's throat. Why? The reason remains a mystery, like other recent ill-advised City decisions. US Bank got an approval to cut down five large beautiful trees in downtown Salem. For no good reason. Three years ago the City's Public Works director, Peter Fernandez, made a promise to the US Bank president that the trees could…

Don’t elect Planned Parenthood haters to Salem-Keizer School Board

If you're a Salem-area resident who cares about providing the best education possible for our children, in the May 21 election be sure to vote for Cris Brantley, Nancy MacMoriss-Adix, and Rick Kimball. They're running for the Salem-Keizer school board. Each is in favor of the district's Teen Outreach Program, TOP -- which is demonstrably effective: TOP CURRICULUMThe TOP Changing Scenes Curriculum addresses many important teen topics, including:  • Healthy relationships  • Values  • Communication  • Examining influences  • Goal setting  • Decision making  • Adolescent development and sexual health  • Community service TOP IS EFFECTIVETOP has demonstrated the following…

My culinary connection with Bollywood

Oh, yeah. I'm almost a Bollywood star.  Defining almost to mean...  Someone who caused Shahid Kapoor, a Bollywood star, to become a vegetarian. Since what Kapoor eats is what makes him up, and I changed what he eats, ergo: I'm almost a Bollywood star. (If you don't think too much about the logic of that last sentence.) Read all about me! Here's my bro, Shahid, looking cool and doing his dance thing. We vegetarians have got it going on, for sure.  

My Salem Weekly opinion piece about US Bank tree killings

I only had one request to make of the Salem Weekly editors: if you have to shorten my opinion piece about the City of Salem's outrageous approval of a US Bank request to cut down five beautiful Zelkova trees, please... Don't take out my references to Tony Soprano and the Bada Bing Club. Pretty please. With New Jersey mobster frosting on top. Happily, they didn't. "A promise is a promise" was published almost exactly as I wrote it. Here's the first Soprano's reference. There was no good reason to remove the trees. None. Three times the city’s Shade Tree Committee…

Salem’s Third Bridge planning staggers on to likely demise

If I was a betting man -- and Vegas placed odds on ill-advised city public works projects -- I'd put money on the City of Salem's Third Bridge project going down in well-deserved flames. I wasn't able to attend last night's City Council hearing on the project. But thanks to a hot-off-the-blog post from Salem Breakfast on Bikes, I got a good feel for the increasing desperation of Third Bridge proponents. With opposition increasing by the day, it's telling that Public Works director Peter Fernandez now is calling the latest iteration of the bridge/quasi-freeway design, the "Salem Alternative." Sounds like…

Statesman Journal editorial about 3rd Bridge “not even wrong”

Ooh! Here comes my theoretical physics-based putdown: "You're not even wrong!" Take that, Statesman Journal editorial board.  Today's opinion piece about a proposed Third Bridge in Salem was so confusingly argued, it deserves the "not even wrong" -- a phrase attributed to physicist Wolfgang Pauli when he objected to incorrect or sloppy thinking. Here's how I put it in my online comment on the editorial, "Third Bridge Remains a Sound Project." The SJ says the bridge "remains a sound concept." Yet the SJ editorial admits ...-- It won't be built for 15-20 years.-- No one knows if it will be…

GOP efforts to politicize Benghazi result in… nothing new

Yawn. That's the right reaction to the unceasing efforts by Fox News commentators and other Republicans to convert the Benghazi tragedy into some sort of impeachable offense. Isn't working. Recent GOP hearings have told us what we already knew. Politicians love few things better than a scandal to trip up their opponents, and Republicans hope last year’s fatal attack on U.S. diplomats in Libya will do exactly that to Hillary Rodham Clinton and other Democrats. History suggests it might be a tough lift. The issue is complex, the next presidential election is more than three years away, and a number of…

Ellis Island respects large trees more than US Bank & City of Salem do

Having noticed my series of outraged posts about the utterly needless approval by the City of Salem of a US Bank request to remove five large trees in front of the bank building in downtown Salem, recently someone sent me a photo of the Ellis Island National Monument in Upper New York Bay. The photo was found via Google Maps. Since it was rather blurry, here's a similar photo I found on Google Images. Do you see all of the large, leafy, beautiful trees in front of historic buildings? If Ellis Island was transported into downtown Salem and transformed into…

Arborist demolishes City of Salem’s reasons for removing US Bank trees

I've said it many times before, and I'll likely be saying it many times more: There was no good reason for the City of Salem (Oregon) to approve a request by US Bank to remove five healthy, beautiful, large Japanese Zelkova trees. All signs point to the decision being politically motivated. That's shameful. Being an avid fan of The Sopranos, I would expect decisions by local officials in New Jersey to be politically slanted. But here in Oregon we expect cleaner city government. Below you'll find the expert views of Woody Dukes, an arborist for 39 years, 25 with the…

Michael Davis promises to revitalize Salem Statesman Journal

Last Friday I spent an enjoyable hour at the Salem City Club, watching Michael Davis, the new executive editor of the Statesman Journal, charm everybody in the room (so far as I could tell).  I sat in the back. Since this wasn't an expressive gospel-spouting church service, I didn't jump up, throw my arms in the air, and yell "Praise be!" "Hallelujah" "Tell it like it is, Brother Michael" or such. But I felt like it. Instead, I kept muttering to my closest seatmate Yes, Good, Absolutely, and other affirmations of the fresh vision Davis has for how the Statesman…

Salem’s US Bank tree cutting needs to be featured on The Daily Show

Us opponents of the senseless cutting-down of five beautiful Japanese Zelkova trees in downtown Salem are on a pretty good publicity roll:  A few days ago the Statesman Journal published online a guest opinion by Carole Smith and me, "US Bank tree removal decision was horribly flawed." Today the paper printed my letter to the editor, titling it "City was wrong to let US Bank cut down trees." Carole has submitted her own letter, which hopefully will be published soon. (Comment away on the guest opinion and letter, especially if you think we've expressed ourselves brilliantly and are on the…

What Statesman Journal doesn’t want you to read about US Bank trees

Being a writer, I'm used to rejection notices. But this one hurt more than usual.

Because the cause I had written about was saving the last two beautiful US Bank trees in downtown Salem, which are on the chopping block after the City of Salem granted the bank's request to cut down five marvelous Zelkova trees.

US Bank tree 4:20:13
The City's Shade Tree Committee said no, no, no to the request. Three times. The City's urban forester and independent arborists said any problems with the trees could be addressed by pruning, not killing them.

Download Shade Tree Committee minutes 

Yet Peter Fernandez, Salem Public Works Director, approved the tree removals anyway.

This was after the regional president of US Bank, Ryan Allbritton, reminded Fernandez that three years ago he had promised Allbritton the trees would be removed — leaving aside the inconvenient fact that the City's tree ordinance requires that removal requests in the downtown Historic District go through the Shade Tree Committee, not be approved via Imperial Fiat by Fernandez.

The whole affair reflects very poorly on the City of Salem and US Bank.

But Carole Smith, a downtown businesswoman and resident, and I hold out hope that the city and bank can salvage some good will from the psyches of appropriately outraged tree-loving citizens by letting the last two trees remain.

(They apparently are still standing only because migrating birds, which seem to have more legal rights than trees, are sheltering in the Zelkovas; when the birds go, so do the last two trees.)

Wanting the public to be as informed as possible about the injustices being inflicted on both the trees and Salem residents who value them, I wrote a 500 word guest opinion, got an OK from co-submitter Carole, and sent it off to the Statesman Journal a few days ago.

Here it is. (I'll also include it as a continuation to this post.)

Download Opinion piece – US Bank trees

Last night an editorial page staffer said that our piece had been rejected for the print edition. I fired off an intense email asking why. Our guest opinion was timely, factual, well written (in my non-humble opinion), provocative, and indicative of broader problems with how City of Salem staff function, or not, as public servants.

I was told by editorial page editor Dick Hughes that with the Oregon legislature in session, the Statesman Journal has gotten quite a few guest opinion submissions. In response, I again appealed to Hughes and executive editor Michael Davis that a timely local subject of interest to the Salem community deserves space on the paper's opinion pages.

Maybe the Statesman Journal will put our guest opinion online. Maybe Carole and I will be able to have letters to the editor published.

[Update: later today Dick Hughes emailed me that our piece was online at the Statesman Journal web site. Of course, it also would have been if the newspaper had chosen to publish it in the print edition. So Carole and I are thankful. But not that thankful. Links to other stories and letters to the editor about the removal of the US Bank trees can be found here.]

And maybe those last two trees will be cut down before people in Salem are aware of what a horrible decision it was to remove the five US Bank trees rather than prune them, as tree experts recommended.

Years ago Peter Fernandez made a promise to Ryan Allbritton that he would accede to the incoming President of the Salem Chamber of Commerce's request to cut down the trees. Well, I've made my own promise: to the two remaining trees that I will do what I can to save them. 

Bad public policy decisions are more difficult to carry out when the public is broadly aware of them. Thus Carole and I want to make as many people as possible in Salem aware of how unnecessary and unjust the death-sentencing of five beautiful downtown trees is. 

Pass on the word. Legally we may not be able to stop the remaining trees from being cut down. However, as we say in the opinion piece:

Nothing will bring back the three wonderful trees that have been reduced to stumps. However, at the moment two equally beautiful trees remain at the corner of State and Commercial. 

Since there was no good reason to cut down any of the five trees, that no-good-reason has been reduced by 60% with the destruction of three trees. Some good will for the City of Salem and US Bank can be salvaged if they belatedly acknowledge this.

Please, Peter Fernandez, City Public Works Director, and Ryan Allbritton, US Bank regional president: save the remaining trees. 

If they too are cut down for no good reason, their absence will speak volumes about how solid facts, expert advice, and public testimony mean next to nothing in how the City of Salem operates these days.

[Update: Ryan Albritton can be contacted at james.allbritton@usbank.com; Peter Fernandez at pfernandez@cityofsalem.net]

Read on for the rest of our guest opinion…