Posted inHumor

The Dreaded Christmas Letter is a darkly humorous must-read

Every year I look forward to getting The Dreaded Christmas Letter from Nancy, a long-time friend of my wife,  who ives in the San Francisco Bay area and teaches piano, plus water aerobics. This year Nancy's appealingly funny letter arrived via Facebook today, where it was easy to copy into a blog post where, hopefully, it will receive the worldwide adulation it deserves.  Enjoy. Since I stole all of the words from her newsletter, I figured I might as well steal the Facebook photos also. The Dreaded Christmas Newsletter What fun we had this year! Walking through walls, being able…
No Comments
Posted inSalem

“Salem is a really friendly town.” So says a couple considering moving here.

Last Monday my email inbox presented me with an interesting message, which said in part... Brian Hines: So, my wife and I are exploring Salem as a place to retire... from crazy, CRAZY Silicon Valley.   Two days before Christmas, just at this moment we're sitting in our AirBNB living room in South Salem, exploring by cyber-means what we've been doing by car and by shamelessly accosting locals on the street, in coffee houses, and at Northern Lights for the past week. After seeing a million prospective houses in West and South Salem, our real estate lady took us to Pringle…
1
Posted inHome life Humor

Santa Claus must be impeached

My wife and I find no pleasure in sharing four articles of impeachment against Santa Claus in our 2019 Christmas letter. (Well, maybe just a little bit of pleasure.)  But we couldn't stand by and let the transgressions of Santa go unmentioned. Here's how we see the case against Santa Claus.Download 2019 Christmas Letter PDF
1
Posted inLiving with a catheter Salem

Misfits belong in Salem’s theatre community (and elsewhere)

Misfits don't fit in. Except where they do. Like, in Salem's theatre community. There was a lot to like about today's City Club program, "On Stage: Salem's Vibrant Theater Community." But what I'm going to focus on is one thing Lisa Joyce, executive director of Pentacle Theatre, said. She told us that misfits find a home in theatre, because everyone is welcome there. I absolutely loved those words. And now, having written that five word sentence, I'm having trouble explaining why. So for the moment I'm going to take a detour around my personal feeling about misfits and return to it…
4
Posted inFood and drink Health Salem

Why eating at In-N-Out Burger is morally wrong

Today an In-N-Out Burger restaurant has opened in nearby Keizer, Oregon, sending waves of feverish delight through the taste buds of people willing to spend hours in line to buy the main food offering... dead cows. I consider this to be morally wrong, having been a vegetarian for most of my life. So my objection isn't to In-N-Out Burger itself. What bothers me is that most Americans are so uncaring about the suffering they're producing by eating meat and fish. Understand: there's a variety of good reasons to be vegetarian or vegan. It's a healthier way to go. It's better…
5
Posted inTai Chi

Here I am, doing the Compact Tai Chi form in a video

Having trouble falling asleep? Too worked up over present-day politics? Tired of cute cat/dog videos on You Tube? Here's the answer to your problems -- a decidedly low-key and almost silent video of me doing the Compact form that we've been learning in my Tai Chi class. This is how I introduced the video in a post on my Church of the Churchless blog. As the title of a book says, Feel the fear and do it anyway. So I'm taking that advice and sharing a video I made today of me doing a Tai Chi form. Watching the video…
No Comments
Posted inHome life

Questions I don’t like to get in the checkout line

OK, the title of this post isn't entirely accurate, because I'm talking about questions I get not only in the checkout line, but also other places.  Like, today this is what I was asked by a bank employee who was handling my deposit slip. "Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" Before answering with a pithy, "Yes," my brain zoomed through a bunch of other responses that had come to mind.  -- Yes, I'm planning to rob a bank. But you'll be pleased to know, not this one.-- Yes, but my plans are top secret, so…
2