Hearing “Hey, Old Man!” got me thinking about people treated as an object

Above is the short version of what happened to me yesterday in downtown Salem (Oregon). But since I'm a wordy Old Man, I'm going to share a longer version. 

As background, I am indeed old, 75. And a man. 

So it doesn't bother me when my Tai Chi instructor, whom I've known for about 22 years, beginning with his instruction in a hard style martial art, refers to me in class as Old Man. For I'm the oldest man in the class, though my instructor is 70, just five years behind me.

But it did bother me when I was crossing Court Street at the mid-block crosswalk, heading for the Pacific Martial Arts studio where my Tai Chi class was about to begin, and a young guy who was part of a small group of teenagers yelled at me from the sidewalk.

"Hey, Old Man!" 

My instant reaction was irritation, because his attitude wasn't friendly, even though I'd never met the guy. I felt like saying something back at him. But within a second or two I decided to ignore him and keep on walking.

That spurred the guy to say something else. I can't remember what it was. Something along the lines of "I'm talking to you!" Which I also ignored.

I then spent the first part of the Tai Chi class conjuring up things I could have said, but didn't. Not that I had any doubts that I did the right thing by walking away. That's the first rule of traditional martial arts training: walk away from a fight if at all possible.

However, I enjoyed coming up with alternative scenarios. Like, "Sorry, man, I'm on my way to where I earned my karate black belt quite a few years ago. No time to talk. Just want to point out that while it may be fun to insult old men, keep in mind that some of them might be able to kick your butt. Have a good day."

Later I thought more calmly about what had happened to me. This was the first time in my life that I'd been treated negatively as an Old Man Object by a stranger. Driving home, I realized how common it is for other people to have the same thing happen to them.

Meaning, being treated negatively as a Woman Object, a Person of Color Object, a LGBTQ Object, a Muslim/Jewish/Other Religion Object. Or Whatever Object. Being a white male, I wasn't used to being insulted by someone I didn't know just because I had a characteristic they didn't like.

Now I know how it feels. Not good. For as I first learned from my reading of Sartre way back in my college days, we are subjects to ourselves and objects to other people, since no one else has direct access to our feeling of what it's like to be us.

That's what makes ageism, or sexism, or racism, or any other sort of prejudicial "ism" so disturbing. It strikes at the heart of a person's humanity, that which they have in common with every other person, by reducing them to a caricature of who they truly are.

So I guess I should feel sorry for the guy who yelled "Hey, Old Man!" at me. I don't know why he said this. Maybe he'd had too much to drink. Or was inebriated by something other than alcohol. Maybe he was having a bad day. Maybe he was simply a teenager acting like a jerk (something I remember doing, for sure).

Anyway, the lesson I'm taking away from this little episode is to be more considerate myself both toward people I don't know, and those I do. Life is difficult enough without me getting irritated at someone whose turn signal has been on for blocks, or who is taking forever with a banking transaction as I wait in line. 

I did the right thing by not reacting to the guy who yelled at me. If it happens again, perhaps I won't even get irritated. Perhaps.