“But you already have a … ”

When Laurel walked in the door I figured that I should state the obvious, since the contents of the box that had just arrived from Amazon were scattered on the counter and a new battery obviously was merrily charging away in the new charger.

“I got a new camera.” Then I heard the words that every woman must learn to recite in When You Become a Wife school: “But you already have a _____ .”

Laurel filled in the blank with “camera.” In the past it has been “computer,” “cell phone,” “GPS receiver,” “atomic watch,” and the names of other technological devices whose upgraded versions I so obviously needed to lead a meaningful, happy, fulfilling, and productive life.

To coin a phrase, my wife doesn’t understand me. At least when it comes to buying things with sophisticated electronic components.

Laurel doesn’t understand the importance of having a vast 2.5 inch HyperCrystal LCD screen that doesn’t wash out in bright light, as opposed to a weeny 1.5 inch screen that does. Here it is showing today’s rainy afternoon in Central Oregon, as thunderstorms blow across Camp Sherman and our dog hides in the closet.

Now, I never say to Laurel, “But you already have a pair of dichroic glass earrings.” I realize that a woman can never have too many earrings.

Of course, a pair of earrings doesn’t cost $319, the cost of my new Olympus Stylus 500 digital weatherproof 5 megapixel camera with a 3x optical zoom lens—which understandably bears a passing resemblance to my previous Olympus Stylus 300 digital weatherproof 3 megapixel camera with a 3x optical zoom lens.

But, hey, size matters, and I’m happier with 2.5 screen inches instead of 1.5, plus 5 megapixels of resolution instead of 3. I have to believe that my sensation of camera satisfaction is similar to how Laurel feels when she finds some dichroic glass earrings whose hue exactly melds with the color of an oh-so-difficult-to-match necklace or blouse.

I spent quite a bit of time researching digital cameras on the Internet and couldn’t make much sense out of all the choices. So I ended up returning like a swallow to a familiar place: the Olympus Stylus. I noted on the Olympus web site that the Stylus 500 was a new design and had some features that I’d been longing for on my Stylus 300 (like the aforementioned screen that you can actually see images on, and menu choices that you can actually easily access and read).

I’ve just taken a few photos with the camera.

Here’s an action photo of our half-retriever, Serena, in Spring Lake.

And a still photo of a wildflower blooming on the shores of the lake.

And a macro wildflower photo taken on our own property.

For the moment, my urge to acquire new technology has abated. I rest content, knowing that 410 more photos will fit on my 512 mb XD camera card.

And yet…the recent memory of lustfully gazing upon a friend’s Kyocera cell phone with organizer capabilities lurks in a technology acquisition corner of my male brain. It may not be too long before I once again hear, “But you already have a _______.”