Posted inHome life

My recipe for a fully satisfying car buying experience

Last Friday, one week ago today, I had one of the best car buying experiences of my life. And since I'm 71, I've had a lot of experience with buying cars, many of them frustrating. Before I share the recipe that was used to cook up my purchase of a 2020 Subaru Crosstrek Limited, here's the final product in all of its "cool gray khaki" glory sitting in our driveway's turnaround area. (Note: I agree that the color is cool, but it sure isn't gray, nor khaki.) Basic ingredients are simple:PatienceGood salespersonGood sales manager I contributed the patience, after deciding…
1
Posted inEntertainment

Sexy Super Bowl halftime show by J. Lo and Shakira offends some, but not me

Call me courageous -- Brian, you're so brave! -- but I've got to take an outspoken stand on yesterday's Super Bowl halftime show featuring Jennifer Lopez, a.k.a. J. Lo, and Shakira. I am unabashedly in favor of beautiful women wearing as little as possible during a musical performance, and dancing in a sexually provocative manner. There. I said it. Let the .000001% of men who disagree with me take me to task, along with the almost equally small percentage of women who believe that female performers should cover themselves demurely on stage, and dance as if a Puritan God was…
2
Posted inHealth

How a doctor’s waiting room suddenly turned pleasant

Almost always, in my experience, a doctor's waiting room has a funereal feel to it. Just about everybody sitting in the chairs is there because they've got some sort of medical issue, which isn't exactly a cause for joy. And if people were feeling good when they entered the waiting room, generally they soon understand why it's got the word waiting in its name.  But yesterday was different. Here's why. My wife had gone with me to an appointment I had at a clinic here in Salem. We arrived a few minutes early for my 1:50 pm appointment. After checking…
1
Posted inBooks

The Unwinding of the Miracle — a marvelous book about cancer and courage

At age 37, Julie Yip-Williams was diagnosed with terminal metastatic colon cancer, a very rare disease for someone her age. It took me a long time to finish reading the book she wrote about her journey from diagnosis to death, The Unwinding of the Miracle. I'm not sure why. Maybe because... i have a fear of death; I have my own chronic medical problem, albeit much milder and not fatal;  her blunt honesty was both appealing and appalling, given that I, or anyone, could fall prey to a fatal diagnosis at any time. At any rate, after I finished the…
No Comments
Posted inEntertainment

Why my wife and I are hooked on The Morning Show

Since my male ego is so small, a fact I'm tremendously proud about, I readily admit that my wife was right. Laurel kept saying, we should start watching The Morning Show, and I kept responding, but the reviews I've read haven't been very positive. Well, we've been firing up Apple TV+ almost every night since taking our first plunge into The Morning Show, and now we're both enthralled by this compelling drama.  Rotten Tomatoes has it right. Critics aren't wild about the series. But viewers love it. Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon are indeed great in their roles. So are…
No Comments
Posted inArcimoto

Why not buying an Arcimoto FUV still seems like a good decision

It's been almost a year since I wrote my last blog post about the Arcimoto FUV, a three-wheeled electric motorcycle that has some of the attributes of a car (notably, a roof). All of my Arcimoto posts, including this one, can be found here. In February 2019 I laid out the reasons I wasn't getting a FUV (Fun Utility Vehicle) in "Why I'm not buying one of the first 100 Arcimoto FUVs."  The reasons were:  (1) My wife hates the idea of me buying one.(2) No compelling reason to buy a FUV.(3) I can buy a FUV later.(4) The maximum…
1
Posted inHumor

The Dreaded Christmas Letter is a darkly humorous must-read

Every year I look forward to getting The Dreaded Christmas Letter from Nancy, a long-time friend of my wife,  who ives in the San Francisco Bay area and teaches piano, plus water aerobics. This year Nancy's appealingly funny letter arrived via Facebook today, where it was easy to copy into a blog post where, hopefully, it will receive the worldwide adulation it deserves.  Enjoy. Since I stole all of the words from her newsletter, I figured I might as well steal the Facebook photos also. The Dreaded Christmas Newsletter What fun we had this year! Walking through walls, being able…
No Comments
Posted inSalem

“Salem is a really friendly town.” So says a couple considering moving here.

Last Monday my email inbox presented me with an interesting message, which said in part... Brian Hines: So, my wife and I are exploring Salem as a place to retire... from crazy, CRAZY Silicon Valley.   Two days before Christmas, just at this moment we're sitting in our AirBNB living room in South Salem, exploring by cyber-means what we've been doing by car and by shamelessly accosting locals on the street, in coffee houses, and at Northern Lights for the past week. After seeing a million prospective houses in West and South Salem, our real estate lady took us to Pringle…
1
Posted inHome life Humor

Santa Claus must be impeached

My wife and I find no pleasure in sharing four articles of impeachment against Santa Claus in our 2019 Christmas letter. (Well, maybe just a little bit of pleasure.)  But we couldn't stand by and let the transgressions of Santa go unmentioned. Here's how we see the case against Santa Claus.Download 2019 Christmas Letter PDF
1
Posted inLiving with a catheter Salem

Misfits belong in Salem’s theatre community (and elsewhere)

Misfits don't fit in. Except where they do. Like, in Salem's theatre community. There was a lot to like about today's City Club program, "On Stage: Salem's Vibrant Theater Community." But what I'm going to focus on is one thing Lisa Joyce, executive director of Pentacle Theatre, said. She told us that misfits find a home in theatre, because everyone is welcome there. I absolutely loved those words. And now, having written that five word sentence, I'm having trouble explaining why. So for the moment I'm going to take a detour around my personal feeling about misfits and return to it…
4
Posted inFood and drink Health Salem

Why eating at In-N-Out Burger is morally wrong

Today an In-N-Out Burger restaurant has opened in nearby Keizer, Oregon, sending waves of feverish delight through the taste buds of people willing to spend hours in line to buy the main food offering... dead cows. I consider this to be morally wrong, having been a vegetarian for most of my life. So my objection isn't to In-N-Out Burger itself. What bothers me is that most Americans are so uncaring about the suffering they're producing by eating meat and fish. Understand: there's a variety of good reasons to be vegetarian or vegan. It's a healthier way to go. It's better…
5
Posted inTai Chi

Here I am, doing the Compact Tai Chi form in a video

Having trouble falling asleep? Too worked up over present-day politics? Tired of cute cat/dog videos on You Tube? Here's the answer to your problems -- a decidedly low-key and almost silent video of me doing the Compact form that we've been learning in my Tai Chi class. This is how I introduced the video in a post on my Church of the Churchless blog. As the title of a book says, Feel the fear and do it anyway. So I'm taking that advice and sharing a video I made today of me doing a Tai Chi form. Watching the video…
No Comments
Posted inHome life

Questions I don’t like to get in the checkout line

OK, the title of this post isn't entirely accurate, because I'm talking about questions I get not only in the checkout line, but also other places.  Like, today this is what I was asked by a bank employee who was handling my deposit slip. "Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" Before answering with a pithy, "Yes," my brain zoomed through a bunch of other responses that had come to mind.  -- Yes, I'm planning to rob a bank. But you'll be pleased to know, not this one.-- Yes, but my plans are top secret, so…
2
Posted inFood and drink Home life

Our favorite vegetarian “turkey” is Trader Joe’s Turkey-Less Roast

Sorry, Tofurkey. Even though you're based in Oregon, where we also live, my wife and I have come to prefer Trader Joe's Turkey-Less Stuffed Roast to your Plant-Based Roast. Having been a vegetarian for 50 years, I've tried every variety of fake turkey since they became available. Back in 2006 I bemoaned the loss of a Tofurkey competitor in "Now & Zen Unturkey has flown the coop." What a Thanksgiving bummer! It looks like this beautiful creature is going extinct. Yes, this could be the last time a much beloved Now & Zen Unturkey graces our vegetarian table. I had…
1
Posted inHome life Salem

Salem, we need to keep our local hardware stores alive

I'm a guilty Amazon Prime shopper. Meaning, I buy a lot of stuff from Amazon because the selection is so great, as are the prices, and I usually get what I want in a few days, sometimes the next day. But I realize that local stores are at risk of going under with the steady rise of online shopping. Hence, the guilt. Because I buy many books from Amazon, and have done so for a long time, I'm still feeling guilty about the demise of Jackson's Books way back when. However, after reading a New York Times opinion piece about hardware…
1
Posted inPhilosophy

My iron-clad argument to be happy right now, no matter what

Periodically my brain comes up with cosmic conclusions that feel ever so right to me. For example, on my Church of the Churchless blog I've written about how back in 1968 I had a convincing realization that the universe is a paper bag turned inside out.  If this doesn't make sense to you, I recommend ingesting a psychedelic, mescaline, since that substance was responsible for the paper bag turned inside out insight. Which, I readily admit, didn't last very long in my psyche. On the other hand, my current cosmic conclusion arose while I was in a normal state of…
1
Posted inHome life Web/Tech

After a string of 13-inch MacBook Pros, I’m enjoying the new 16-inch

I can't remember how many 13 inch MacBook Pro laptops I've owned. Five, maybe? I've used this marvelous computer for so long, they all blur together in a blend of great design, excellent software, and pleasing ergonomics. Well, my late 2016 13-incher, shown on the right, is a notable exception in one regard: the keyboard. Along with countless (more or less) other MacBook Pro users, I encountered the dreaded repeating keystroke problem about six months ago.  This common problem was caused by Apple inexplicably changing from a scissors-style keyboard that worked well to a butterfly-style keyboard that didn't -- apparently…
1
Posted inHome life

My defense of leaf blowers (we live in the country)

I realize that leaf blowers are controversial. The gas-powered blowers are noisy. If I lived in the city, I'd find them annoying. But my wife and I live on ten acres in rural south Salem, where a leaf blower is not only unobjectionable for our distant neighbors, but a necessity for what I call the Leaf War I engage in every autumn. It's a strange sort of war, because I don't have a gripe with the numerous large oaks that surround our house, nor the deciduous trees that grace our large yard. They're just doing their leaf-dropping thing in accord…
3
Posted inHome life

Here’s my pitch to be in a Subaru commercial

Hey, Subaru, I'm available. To be in one of your commercials. Here's my pitch. I don't have an agent, yet, so you'll need to contact me directly to take advantage of this oh-so-great offer. Lincoln has Matthew McConaughey. Subaru can have Brian Hines. Why? Because... I'm a 70-something baby boomer who, until today, looked upon the Subaru Crosstrek with amusement. Perhaps even with some disdain. Yeah, I saw them everywhere here in Salem, Oregon, along with Subaru Foresters, Outbacks, and other models with outdoorsy names. Sometimes the Lifesource Natural Foods parking lot has so many Subarus in it, I thought…
1
Posted inHome life

Toyota and GM side with Trump on mileage standards. Bad move, carmakers.

Thanks for nothing, Toyota and GM. It's deeply irritating that you've chosen to join with the Trump administration in challenging the longstanding federal law that has allowed California and 12 other states to require stricter auto emissions than the national standard. A LA Times opinion piece, "By siding with Trump on emissions, GM, Chrysler and Toyota are asking for industry chaos," describes what's at stake here. General Motors, Fiat Chrysler and Toyota say the reason they’re backing the Trump administration in its assault on California’s decades-old campaign to reduce auto emissions is to avoid fragmenting the industry in search of…
2