Entertainment

My week now centers around Jack Bauer and the rest of the “24” cast. As Monday evening approaches my heartbeat quickens. A rosy glow of anticipation brightens my cheeks. I begin to feel the titillating thrill that accompanies the righteous killing of terrorists. In short, I am in love. And though I know there should be no limits on love, I sometimes wonder: “Do I love too much?” Plus, what’s up with me loving Jack Bauer? Usually I’m not attracted to those strong, quasi-silent types (even though Jack’s expertise with computers means he could easily solve my intermittent Windows XP…

With Buddha-like compassion for the Googlers who are searching today for “Salma Hayek Academy Awards 2006” and finding my outdated 2005 photos of The Perfect Platonic Form of Woman, I offer a vision of Salma 2006. Who was, as always, one of the highlights of the show for me. And many millions of other men too. One of the lowlights was the Oscars’ repeated admonition to see movies in movie theatres rather than at home on DVD. That just made me more determined to avoid over-priced popcorn and talkative seat-neighbors whenever I can. Those who follow my performance at Jim…

I just finished watching the debut episode of The Wonder Pets on Nickelodeon Jr. (yes, this 57 year old has too much time on his hands). I have an urgent warning for pot smokers and, especially, any users of psychedelics (do they still exist?). Do not, repeat, do not watch The Wonder Pets if you aren’t prepared to laugh your guts out. That almost happened to me just now, and I’m not even high on anything (except life, ha, ha). Today I watched Turtle Tuck, Linny the Guinea Pig and Ming-Ming Duckling save a dolphin trapped in a fishing net…

Recently Laurel and I have watched six movies that garnered a four star review from Roger Ebert, our favorite critic. A seventh wasn’t formally reviewed by Ebert, but we’ll take the liberty of giving it four stars for him. Here are my capsules of our recommended flicks. Well, six get a thumbs up from both of us. The other, with which I’ll begin, got a thumbs down from Laurel even though she only listened to the audio of it from a distant cranky critic seat. Sin City. I loved it. Especially, as the MPAA warning says, for its “sustained, strong,…

This weekend we saw these two movies (“March” on DVD ,“Pride” in a movie theatre) and at first sight they couldn’t be more dissimilar. But with a little reflection I began to see connections. Long lines of emperor penguins, looking exactly alike, walking to their breeding ground in desolate Antarctica. Not-so-long lines of eighteenth century British men and women, each dressed to the nines, dancing in a lavishly decorated country home with the same underlying intention: breeding. It’s always about breeding, isn’t it? Darwin tells us that it is. And both of these movies testify to the power that sexual…

Befitting its pseudo-Frenchness, Comedy Central's “Colbert Report” is pronounced without the ending “t”s. Steven Colbert, the eponymous host of the show, says “Welcome to the Colber Repor!” If you like sardonic intelligent wordplay, plus a healthy dose of Bush-bashing ala The Daily Show (where Colbert got his start), you’ll enjoy The Colbert Report. We’ve added The Colbert Report to our regular evening TV viewing. Something else had to go, so Nightline has bit the dust for us. Ted Koppel is on the way out (or gone) and I’ve reached a point in life where I’d rather laugh than cry my…

Well, according to Wikipedia, publicity materials for “The Aristocrats” actually was where the term “world’s funniest joke” was used. Regardless, after seeing the movie last Saturday night I’m not sure the joke deserves that appellation. But it surely is one of the most disgusting and obscene jokes in the world, which makes it damn funny. I laughed out loud a lot during the unrated movie’s 87 minutes. Laurel was her usual outwardly stoic self, as was the couple about our age next to us. Most of the Salem Cinema audience was considerably younger. And they laughed even more than I…

I can’t believe it. Who would have guessed? Paris and Paris are no more. Their engagement is off. It will be tough, but somehow I’ll find a way to fill the hole that today’s CNN story left in me. I’d become attached to the marvelous symmetrical beauty of it all: Paris and Paris, blonde and blonde, filthy rich heir and filthy rich heiress. Now we’ll never know what it would have been like for their child to introduce his or her parents: “This is my mom, Paris. And this is my dad, Paris.” Plus, there’s a good chance they would…

In these serious times of hurricanes, wars, energy shortages, global warming, and such, it’s refreshing to watch a movie that is unfailingly vibrant, colorful, light, and unapologetically cheesy. “Bride and Prejudice” is the first mainstream (more or less) Bollywood musical. “Bollywood” is the term used to describe India’s thriving film industry, which is centered in Mumbai, the city formerly known as Bombay: Bombay + Hollywood = Bollywood. Bride and Prejudice is worth seeing if only to gaze upon the beauty of Aishwarya (ash-waar-e-ah) Rai. In a previous post I noted that she has been called the most beautiful woman in…

Do I think I can dance? No, unless “dance” is interpreted so loosely as to include an even more spastic rendition of Steve Martin’s Happy Feet. But I love to watch great dancing, so Fox’s “So you think you can dance” is a Wednesday night joy for Laurel and me. If you haven’t been watching the show, give it a try tonight. We’ve been following the remaining sixteen dancers (eight guys and eight girls) from the beginning, so have our favorites and unfavorites. They’re all talented, for sure, but some are more deserving of winning the competition than others. My…

We watched the first episode of “Weeds” last night on Showtime. It’s about a suburban mother who sells marijuana in the neighborhood to support herself after her husband died. Weeds is hard to categorize: comedy, drama, dark comedy, light drama? That’s a big part of why I’m confident the show will continue to be so enjoyable. Like other pay cable series such as “The Sopranos” and “Six Feet Under,” “Weeds” takes its own unique creative path apart from the usual boring broadcast crap. I knew I was going to like Weeds as soon as the first bars of a long-forgotten…

Watching the British Open last weekend, I was both transfixed and confused by Nike's golf commercial that shows Tiger Woods as a young boy, winning at St. Andrews. I have to agree with my friend Randy, who says on his blog that this is the best golf commercial ever. Also, the most perplexing--unless you know the secret. How the heck did little Tiger Woods get filmed at St. Andrews? I didn't really believe that he won the British Open at age 5, but the commercial sure makes it seem like he did. The secret to the mystery is revealed by…

Laurel is in Indiana for a nephew’s wedding celebration, so I was on my own yesterday at Salem’s riverfront World Beat Festival. There are lots of things not to like about Salem, but the June World Beat Festival and July Art Fair temporarily liven up this excessively laid back town. Right away my karma drew me to some Tibetan booths. I soon became the owner of two “Made in Nepal” yin-yang T-shirts, perfect for wearing to my tai-chi class (what I lack in tai chi skills I try to make up for with Taoist attire). Then, appropriately enough, I trekked…

We watched every minute of the two-hour MTV Movie Awards show last night (except the commercials, naturally). This is a yearly cultural duty for me. At the age of 56, and growing older by the second, I don’t want to become a old fogy who is out-of-touch with what’s happening (though my very use of that archaic term indicates that I probably am). Nonetheless, rap performances usually make me hit my digital video recorder’s “forward 30 seconds” button repeatedly until the rapper is off the screen. However, I managed to watch all of Eminem’s “song,” or whatever it is you…