A message for those having a hard time during the Christmas season

Many people, well, most people I'm sure, enjoy the Christmas season. Vacation. Gifts. Relatives. Eating. Drinking. Football. And for Christians, the birth of Jesus. But for others, and I'm largely in your camp, all of these festivities, well-wishing, and positivity grate on their nerves, because for reasons unique to each person, the Christmas season isn't a time for celebration. After all, as the Buddha pointed out, life is suffering. Or at least, full of disappointment. Sure, it's possible to put on a happy face and ignore this truth, but ignore it or not, that truth remains.  Many people are lonely.…

A kitchen faucet problem reminds me of the wisdom in “I could be wrong”

I don't like to be wrong. But I dislike problems that defy fixing even more, whether these be personal, political, or any other sort. And what I've learned from painful experience is that when I believe I'm absolutely right, yet that rightness isn't resulting in progress at resolving a problem, the best thing I could do is tell myself, "I could be wrong." This morning, when I emerged from a separate bedroom where I sleep, my wife told me that our kitchen faucet that we'd gotten earlier this year had stopped working. It's a Delta faucet with Touch2O technology. Meaning…

I don’t believe in free will. Here’s why.

Today the monthly Salon discussion group that my wife and I are part of spent quite a bit of time talking about free will. This is one of my favorite subjects, for after pondering quite a few books about free will, or the lack thereof, I'm highly confident that free will is an illusion. I can't recall exactly how our group started conversing about it, but for sure I spurred our conversation by saying that I've started reading Robert M. Sapolsky's terrific book, Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will. To give you a feel for his general view…

US women’s soccer shootout loss shows power of smallness

Understandably, most of us believe that in order to accomplish something great, you need to do great things. Meaning, large important things. There's a certain logic to this, but it doesn't fit with reality.  In the real world -- as contrasted with the ideal world constructed in human minds -- important outcomes often hinge on insignificant details. For example, and as a progressive it's painful for me to think about this, if Hillary Clinton hadn't decided to set up a private email server as Secretary of State instead of relying on her government account, there's good reason to consider that…

Stoic guide to happiness: want the things you already have

If you want to be happy -- and who doesn't? -- there are a huge number of ways people have advised how to accomplish this throughout the thousands of years of recorded history.  Whatever works for you, go for it. That's my attitude. I simply want to suggest an approach that resonates with me, the Stoic practice of negative visualization.  Or as William B. Irvine says in the transcript of a talk that I've shared below, want the things you already have, love the life you happen to be living. Yeah, I realize this sounds kind of obvious. But as…

Let’s agree with George Bernard Shaw, “All men mean well”

It was kind of a strange place to resonate with a George Bernard Shaw quotation.  Last night my wife and I had just finished watching episode 7 of the HBO Max series, "Love Life." Following each episode, there's an interesting discussion of it between Anna Kendrick, who plays the main character with a love life, and three other people involved with putting on the series. One of them said something like, "As Shaw put it, All men mean well. Sinners, saints, everybody." Hearing those words, I paused Apple TV, got a pen and piece of paper, and wrote down the quote.…

Life is only predictable looking backward

My wife and I have been married for 31 years. Looking back, it was meant to be. But almost certainly that's an illusion, because life only seems predictable after things already have happened. And even that is an illusion.  To understand why, let's look more closely at how Laurel and I met. The way I usually describe this is true, yet incomplete: I responded to a personals ad Laurel placed in Willamette Week back when the Portland alternative paper only came in a print edition. In a 2016 post on my Church of the Churchless blog, "Who's afraid of The Big…

Let’s all be compassionate Warriors of Reality in 2021

My hoped for New Year's resolution is that as many Americans as possible vow to do better at being (1) more compassionate and (2) more in touch with reality. I see these goals as being complementary.  Compassion requires a clear-eyed view of what is causing our fellow humans, animals, and other living beings to suffer. If we aren't correct about what is real, versus what only exists within our own mind, we'll be thrown off track by misplaced concern. For example, here in Oregon there's currently a push by some to demand that businesses shut down by Covid restrictions, such…

Pac-12 championship game shows how sports imitates life

Yesterday the Oregon football team defeated USC 31-24 in the Pac-12 championship game. The win was satisfying for me in many regards, some of them philosophical. Not that philosophy was on my mind as I watched the game with rapt attention. I got so nervous in the fourth quarter I was shivering with excitement and worry, so had to put on a sweater to make it through the final minutes. There's something about a well-played close football game like this one that resonates for reasons well beyond the obvious. Sure, Oregon was the underdog, a 3-2 team that was in…

If you can’t be with the life you love, love the life you’re with

It's Thanksgiving today. I feel like I should put a one-day hold on my usual inclination to write something snarky, critical, or in my better moments, only mildly negative. So here goes with my modification to a song lyric that popped into my head when I woke up this morning and realized what day it was. And if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with. Stephen Stills performed the song, "Love the One You're With," in 1970. I turned 22 that year. Now I'm 72. The general sentiment still rings true to me,…

My iron-clad argument to be happy right now, no matter what

Periodically my brain comes up with cosmic conclusions that feel ever so right to me. For example, on my Church of the Churchless blog I've written about how back in 1968 I had a convincing realization that the universe is a paper bag turned inside out.  If this doesn't make sense to you, I recommend ingesting a psychedelic, mescaline, since that substance was responsible for the paper bag turned inside out insight. Which, I readily admit, didn't last very long in my psyche. On the other hand, my current cosmic conclusion arose while I was in a normal state of…

Stuff happens. Things fall apart. Such is life.

Sometimes the most obvious things about life need to be talked about. It's easy to overlook them not in spite of their obviousness, but because the familiar tends to fade into the background, while new stuff grabs our attention. So here's a few obvious truths about life: -- Life is finite. It comes to an end for every living being. Including us humans.-- Life is uncertain. We can hope for the best, but sometimes the worst happens.-- Life is about caring. We care, because what we're concerned about is finite and uncertain. I've been reminded about these truths by reading…

Netflix, like life, works in mysterious ways

I've used psychedelics, meditation, and philosophy to understand the mystery of the cosmos -- with decidedly mixed success. But now that I've reached what feels like the astoundingly old age of 70, I'm pleased to find wisdom any way it appears to me. Such as, through the unexpected workings of Netflix. Which led me yesterday to a better appreciation of what is really important in life. My mini-enlightenment began when I noticed that "A Star is Born" was available in our Netflix DVD queue as of February 20. So I elevated it to next in line and mailed back the…

Why I don’t like the term “new normal”

New normal is a term that's bandied about a lot, but to me it needs to be retired. Wikipedia says that new normal implies that something which was previously abnormal has become commonplace. OK. Makes sense. But I still don't like the term. For one thing, what the heck is "normal"? Often this word is used in a moralistic or judgmental sense that is much different from, say, a doctor informing a patient that her test results are normal -- meaning, within a typical range. Not long ago normal sex was considered to be between a man and a woman, not…

Deep thoughts about Arkansas’ missed pop-up that cost a World Series championship

OK, I've put my philosophical reputation on the line with the title of this blog post. So I'll buy some time for my mind to come up with the promised deep thoughts by bringing readers of this post up to speed on the thoroughly mind-boggling play that cost the Arkansas baseball team the College World Series championship.  I live in Oregon, not far from Corvallis, the home of the Oregon State University (OSU) Beavers baseball team. So last Wednesday I was rooting for the Beavers to win the second game in the best out of three championship series with the…

My dentist’s daughter died in a skiing accident last Friday

My teeth-cleaning appointment started with a statement and ended in sadness. "Dr. Panet-Raymond isn't here today," I was told. "Friday his daughter died in a skiing accident on Mt. Bachelor."  That hit me hard. I've known Marc Panet-Raymond for a long time. We've talked a lot about philosophy and many other subjects during the time my mouth wasn't wide open for dental work.  A story in the Oregonian, "Woman who died on Mt. Bachelor 'lifted everyone who was around her,' father says," tells what happened. But no story can capture the feelings of Panet-Raymond, his wife, and son on the day…

Aliveness is a pretty damn good goal while being alive

You and I are alive. I know this to be true, because I'm writing what you're going to be reading, and writing/reading require being alive. The question is, how alive are we?  Pretty clearly, aliveness comes in degrees. At one extreme, someone in a coma is living, yet just barely alive. Maybe not at all.  Most of us would say that there's a point at which life isn't worth living. This is why so many people have a living will, durable power of attorney, do not resuscitate instructions, and such. But there's also the question of aliveness in what we…

Common facts are the bedrock of democracy — which Trump is blasting away at

There's a lot of reasons to detest what President Trump is doing to our country. What's most concerning, though, isn't any specific outrage -- destroying health care, denying global warming, tearing apart the social safety net -- but his general attack on shared reality. If people can't agree about the basic nature of the world we all live in together, it isn't possible to even discuss the problems we face, much less agree about what needs to be done about them.  About a week ago I wrote about "On Tyranny," a little book that packed a big punch. This is…

Fireflies, Mt. Hood, and other strange delights

I love watching fireflies do their bioluminescence thing. I've just spent several days in Indiana and Kentucky. Fireflies are common there. They don't exist in Oregon, so far as I know. At least, I've never seen a firefly in my home state. So when the sun began to set on the day my wife and I arrived at a family get-together in a small town near Bloomington, Indiana, I couldn't take my eyes off of the seemingly randomly blinking yellow flashes of light on a large grassy lawn.  Blink here. Then there. No way to predict where the next flash…

Crushing disappointment leads me to channel my Inner Trump and Buddha

Well, I can chalk up another soul crushing moment: a third consecutive rejection of my TEDx Salem speaker application -- which I described in "Free will isn't. Existence is" My hoped-for TEDx Salem talk. The rejection letter reminded me of those I got from publishers back in the days when I was shopping around book manuscripts, before I discovered the Joy of Self Publishing. A polite way of saying, Get lost, loser. Dear Brian, We appreciate your proposal for presenting a talk at TEDxSalem. We received a record amount of applications this year making our decision incredibly difficult. We regret…