Strange Up Salem

I rarely channel the Universe, because I'm usually dubious that it has a message for me, or anyone else. But the recent toxic algae water crisis here in Salem must have caused my cosmic connection to become more finely-tuned, since I'm picking up a communication for our city from the Universe that's coming in loud and clear. When in doubt, let it out! After all, the numero uno problem with how the folks at City Hall handled the cyanotoxin water tests was their mistaken decision to keep the initial positive test results to themselves, instead of immediately telling the public,…

My new Strange Up Salem column in Salem Weekly is "My dyfunctional relationship with Salem."  After 37 years of living in or near Salem, I seem to be settling into a pleasantly dysfunctional relationship with this town. Like Sharon Stone’s character in “Basic Instinct,” Salem allures me. Even when she is out to destroy me. But that word, dysfunctional... Note that I prefaced it with "pleasantly." I really don't think it is unusual, wrong, or undesirable to both hate and love something or someone. This is how we are, how the world is.  Multiple. Changeable. Capricious.  To cast a philosophical/neuroscientific…

Waiting for a to-go order to be prepared at Cafe Yumm (my wife and I love this fairly new Salem restaurant), I headed across the parking lot to caffeinate myself at French Press. Where my 16 ounce non-fat vanilla latte had a marvelously artistic look to it. I have no idea how baristas do this. Actually, I don't want to know. I like living with the mystery of "Wow!" Whether by chance or design, the guy who made my latte achieved a blossom within a heart within primordial ripples of the big bang. Or something like that.  Needing some reading…

Being a blogger is sort of like being a columnist. You get to write short essays about subjects that interest you. Those essays, a.k.a. blog posts, are published and made available to readers.  But I've always looked upon blogging as being to genuine column-writing as masturbation is to sex with another person: it's easier to do it all by yourself, yet less satisfying. It does indeed take two to tango.  So I'm thrilled to be able to say, "I am a columnist." In a real publication, made of paper (as well as pixels).  Today my first Strange Up Salem column…

Salem, Oregon glows in the invisible ultraviolet wavelength, appealing-city wise. That's one of the insights that resonated with me in a column by K. Williams Brown in the Statesman Journal today.  Check out the "Let's make Salem's light visible, not ultraviolet" post on my Strange Up Salem blog for how Brown's thoughts stimulated my own.  But it's time (way past time, really) for Salem to evolve out of its ultraviolet phase of development. I'm tired of having friends and relatives visit from out of state and being stumped when my wife and I think, "What to do?"  Salem sucks when it…

Over on my Strange Up Salem blog I've put up a post which conclusively answers the question that plagues residents of our city: why is Salem afflicted with so much blah'ness? We're cursed. That's got to be it. Check out "Is Salem, Oregon cursed by a 'blah spell?" The answer is yes; the solution is described. Excerpt: Thus the curse of Oregon's capital isn't to be infected with evil. Hey, that'd be interesting, cool, something to be proud of. (Las Vegas does just fine with that sort of curse.) No, Salem's curse is existential. It's to be doomed with a…

Check out another Strange Up Salem post on my blog that's dedicated to weirding up Oregon's excessively blah capital. "Salemia video aims to Strange Up Salem" is the last of my three Salem Weekly columns that made it into the blogosphere rather than print. Here's some excerpts: In early February “Salemia” touched off a craze among Salem’s Twittersphere. It all began when filmmaker Mike Perron tweeted, “Salemia. Opening scene: five hipsters fighting over a half smoked cigarette outside Chelsea's place...” ...Keep Portland Weird is a rallying cry for residents who want to preserve their city’s uniqueness. Since I feel an…

Over on my Strange Up Salem blog I've put up another marvelously persuasive post that uses the example of Trader Joe's to show how strangeness is a key to economic development -- not to mention the secrets of the cosmos. Check it out. Here's a sample: Bottom line: A place and the people who live there are intimately intertwined. If we want Salem to be a more interesting and lively place, we have to cultivate those qualities in ourselves. Free enterprise is adept at filling voids. When there is unfulfilled demand for new and different, a.k.a. strangeness, individuals and businesses…

Oh, man. I could almost taste my Pulitzer prize -- leaving aside the minor details of (1) whether a Pulitzer is given for alternative newspaper column writing, and (2) the questionable edibility of whatever the Pulitzer folks give out as awards. Regardless, I came so close to becoming a columnist for Salem Weekly, which actually is published bi-weekly, but alternative publications shouldn't be held to obsessive-compulsive journalistic standards. That's part of what attracted me to the notion of writing for Salem Weekly when publisher A.P. Walther phoned me early in 2011 and said he wanted us to chat. Soon we…