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South Salem, Oregon. 11/28/04. 17:51 hours. Report by Col. B. Hines (no snickering if you read the name out loud—I had enough of that in high school gym class). Commanding officer, also sole soldier: Hinesland Anti-blackberry Special Forces. Good progress has been made in freeing Hinesland from the invader who crossed our borders many years ago—Himalayan Blackberry. May Luther Burbank rot in his grave for unleashing this despicable vegetation upon our defenseless natives. The values of Himalayan Blackberry are beneath contempt, as the above-referenced intelligence analysis describes: “It is capable of sexual and various types of asexual reproduction.” Various types,…