Posted inHome life

Laurel swears she’ll never make another pie. Again.

Our Thanksgiving Eve tradition continues: cursing, confusion, and clutter fill the kitchen as Laurel labors to make an apple pie that, precisely 365 days ago, she swore would never darken her culinary door again. Yet, it did. We have been invited to share Thanksgiving with some friends. They are doing most of the cooking but gave us a few choices about what we could bring to the table. Salad. Rolls. Dessert. Laurel told them that she’d bring dessert. More precisely, an apple pie. And not a store-bought pie. A home-made pie. The stage was set for disaster. Last night I…
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Posted inCurrent affairs Science

Intelligent designers are out to Christianize America

Advocates of intelligent design aren’t really scientists. They’re theologians. And they’re determined to root every last vestige of non-Christianity out of American culture. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to after reading the first three chapters of a book that has been sitting on my “to read” bookshelf for three years. I picked up “Signs of Intelligence” a few days ago, wanting to learn from intelligent design proponents—not critics—what this movement is all about. An editor of this collection of essays is William A. Dembski, one of the few real scientists who believes in intelligent design. He’s a professor of Science…
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Posted inHome life

WildBlue satellite internet rescues us from dial-up

After many years of suffering through 24 kbps dial-up internet “surfing” (more accurately, “slogging”), we got a WildBlue satellite system installed last Wednesday. It’s working great. I just logged on to three speed tests. Ground Control says I’m getting 556 kbps download, PCPitstop’s satellite bandwidth test says 576 kbps, and SpeakEasy clocked in at 579 kbps down and 151 kbps up (WildBlue is two-way satellite, no phone line involved). Real-world wise, yesterday I downloaded a 10.9 mb virus/spyware scan update through SystemSuite, the excellent utility system that replaced my piece-of-crap Symantec software. Via dial-up it used to take me over…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Gary Hart on keeping religion out of politics

Recently I saw an interview with Hart on Fox News where he made some wise observations about how religion screws up the political process. Listening to him speak, I recalled how unfortunate it was that Dukakis rather than Hart was the Democratic nominee for president in 1988. That photo of Donna Rice sitting on his lap sunk his campaign. Otherwise, this intelligent and articulate former Colorado senator might well have won. Myself, I’ve argued that religious values have no place in politics. In the interview (a portion of which is transcribed below) Hart basically agrees, though obviously neither he nor…
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Posted inHome life

Another man satisfies my wife

Hey, I’m cool with it. I know that I can’t meet all of my wife’s needs. So it didn’t bother me when another guy came to our house yesterday and spent all afternoon doing stuff that made Laurel ooh and aah. I wish I could have given her all that pleasure on my own. But I’ve still got some macho self-esteem left, since I’ve convinced myself that it takes a real man to call the plumber. Who arrived right after lunch. First, he installed a replacement kitchen sink faucet, tearing out the old Moen that I had managed to reverse…
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Posted inNeighborhood

I pick up a hitchhiker

I started to pull over as soon as I saw her raise her hand and gesture at my car. A thirty-something woman in a long dress standing all alone on the side of Liberty Road five miles from Salem. I had to stop. My first thought was that she had car trouble and needed help. But there wasn’t any car in sight. I rolled down the passenger side window. “Oh, thank you for stopping,” she said. “I’ve been here for 45 minutes. I need a ride into town so I can catch a bus to go for a job interview.”…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Randi Rhodes is an embarrassment to progressives

I’m a progressive. Yet it’s painful for me to listen to Randi Rhodes, Air America’s equivalent of Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage. She’s an embarrassment for progressives. Rhodes routinely is uninformed, shrill, and rude. This wouldn’t be such a problem for the progressive movement if there were a wide variety of appealing liberal radio voices. But there aren’t, for the airwaves are dominated by conservative talk show hosts. The rantings of Limbaugh and Savage appeal to rabid right-wingers, just as Rhodes is the darling of unabashed lefties. On the right, Tony Snow and Sean Hannity are more moderate in tone.…
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Posted inHome life

A real man will call a plumber

Well, that’s the spin I’m putting on my phone call to Judsons Plumbing yesterday. To be honest, I feel totally emasculated. I finally had to admit that fixing a leaky kitchen sink faucet was beyond me. After my first quasi-successful fix-it attempt it took me a week to come to this conclusion. By “quasi,” I mean that I got the single-handle Moen faucet back together after disassembling it down to the cartridge and then not being able to figure how the damn thing came out. With some struggle I was able to get the faucet into working order again, aside…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Let’s clean up the (Oregon) House

On this mini 2005 Election day, it’s not too early for me to be anticipating the joy that I’ll feel when, 365 days and a few hours from now, I go out to get the newspaper and read “Minnis defeated—Dems take back Oregon House.” Yes, I realize that in clean, green Oregon, politics isn’t supposed to be personal. But Karen Minnis, the oh-so-Republican Speaker of the House, sets herself up for personal attacks with her penchant for playing the Red Queen. In the 2005 legislative session she repeatedly refused to allow the House to vote on bills that had passed…
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Posted inUncategorized

Support Apathy, Nihilism, and Despair

Finally! No more naked wrists for me. I’ve found some rubber wristbands that spout a message I can get behind. I just ordered them and can hardly wait to share an honest philosophy of life with the world. Others can wear what they like. I’m declaring my allegiance to the curmudgeon side in the battle of the bands.
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Outraged at flu shot shortages

While standing in line for a flu shot yesterday I had plenty of time to work up a major case of Irritation at Bush, the CDC, vaccine manufacturers, and anyone else who was responsible for the hour I spent shuffling along a lengthy line of tape stuck to the floor at south Salem’s Oak Tree Pharmacy. I had plenty of company. About forty people had beaten me to the clinic when I got there at 11:30 am, half an hour after the starting time. I figured that I’d beat the noon rush. I hadn’t taken into consideration the fact that…
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Posted inScience

Estrogen, it’s what men lust for

Science has confirmed the obvious: “Men just want someone young and pretty.” So says evolutionary psychologist Nick Neave about research which found that women with higher levels of estrogen were rated as more attractive, healthy, and feminine-looking than those with lower levels. A feminine face is rounder with gentle features, big eyes, small nose and big lips. It’s an indicator of reproductive fitness, according to the researchers. Evolutionarily speaking, beauty helps men identify women who will bear them large numbers of children. Not that this is Bill Maher’s conscious motivation. But his inner caveman is wordlessly screaming, “Reproduce! Pretty and…
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Posted inMiscellany

Support your independent pharmacist

Recently I’ve made a new friend, our local pharmacist. I had gone fifty-seven years without needing a long term prescription. However, this year for my birthday I not only got my first prostate exam from a female doctor but also some Flomax samples (though peeing can be fun, I’d prefer to engage in this activity a bit less often). In addition, the week after my physical exam I got a phone call about my blood test results. “Your cholesterol is 212,” I was told by the nurse. “That’s crazy,” I said. “It’s always been less than 190. I’ve been a…
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Posted inEntertainment

Vive le Colbert Report

Befitting its pseudo-Frenchness, Comedy Central's “Colbert Report” is pronounced without the ending “t”s. Steven Colbert, the eponymous host of the show, says “Welcome to the Colber Repor!” If you like sardonic intelligent wordplay, plus a healthy dose of Bush-bashing ala The Daily Show (where Colbert got his start), you’ll enjoy The Colbert Report. We’ve added The Colbert Report to our regular evening TV viewing. Something else had to go, so Nightline has bit the dust for us. Ted Koppel is on the way out (or gone) and I’ve reached a point in life where I’d rather laugh than cry my…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Bird flu + Bush administration = disaster

It sends a chill up my spine when I realize that the same folks who brought us a mismanaged Iraq war, bungled hurricane relief efforts, and a host of other debacles, are in charge of protecting Americans from a potentially devastating avian (bird) flu epidemic. Bernadine Healy, M.D., a former director of the National Institutes of Health, said that we are “Unprepared for Bird Flu” in a recent issue of U.S. News & World Report. Her uncheery assessment starts off with: When the avian flu brewing in Asia hits our shores--as most experts believe will happen--and if it maintains its…
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Posted inSustainability

A hybrid that has it all

Are you yearning for balance in your automotive life? Do you, like me, want it all? Abundant power and good mileage, driving fun and environmental righteousness. If so, take a look at the Toyota Highlander Hybrid SUV, which is rated #1 in a “muscle per gallon” index prepared by U.S. News & World Report. Since my wife and I are on a waiting list to buy the 4-wheel-drive version of this car, I was pleased to see that the Highlander beat out the $65,000 Chevrolet Corvette (#2) and the $453,000 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren (#3), each of which boasts ferocious horsepower…
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Posted inScience

Listen to the Big Bang

Thanks to astronomer Mark Whittle, you can listen to the Big Bang’s first million years of primordial sound, compressed into ten seconds and shifted up 50 octaves into the human range of hearing. Click on this page’s first sound file. Even on my tinny laptop speakers, I got a chill up my spine hearing this reproduction of what Whittle calls the universe’s primal scream (this link is a fine non-technical description of his scientific work). The universe was born in silence and soon grew into an awesome roar. Whittle says: Have you ever wondered what the "Big Bang" actually sounded…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Police need more martial arts training

“Totally unnecessary.” That was my reaction to the story in yesterday’s Oregonian about how two police officers killed a crazed, naked, unarmed man after he had jumped on the roof of their patrol car. A witness to the shooting, Paul White, said that at no time was the man (Fouad Kaady) threatening or combative. He was just standing on the roof of the car, hands at his side. Undoubtedly the grand jury investigating this case will be told by the officers that they believed their lives were in danger. Give me a break. Being afraid is a lot different from…
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Posted inMeasure 37

Wise Measure 37 commentary

Opening up the Statesman-Journal today, I was deeply impressed with the wisdom of a letter to the editor about Measure 37. Then I saw the letter writer’s name and exclaimed, “I know that guy!” In fact, he was me. Just to give the conspiracy theorists over at Oregonians in Action something to chew on while they’re waiting for the next check from the Asphalt Manufacturers of America to roll in, yes, 1000 Friends of Oregon put me up to this. I got a phone call from a 1000 Friends staffer who said that Laurel or I should write a letter…
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Posted inHome life

Best vegetable lasagna recipe

Wanting to improve the world through my blogging, today I’ll surpass all of my previous efforts and share my exceedingly well-tested recipe for vegetarian spinach lasagna. This is the only dish that I ever bring to a potluck where meat-eaters and vegetarians are mingling. It also is the only dish that I make for visiting carnivorous (or, more accurately, omnivorous) relatives. In short, this recipe swings both ways. Almost everyone likes it. A big plus for me is how quickly this dish can be made. You don’t have to cook the lasagna noodles ahead of time. Putting in the ¾…
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