The clouds speak to me

During a Metolius River walk with Serena this afternoon I paused to lay on my back in the grass and see what the passing clouds had to say to me. Right away it was evident they could read my mind. Yes, I do have a question. Might as well ask the Big One: What is the meaning of life? And the next cloud that came by had the answer: “I” Hmmmm. Quite profound. Hindus say, “Atman (soul) is Brahman (God). Moses was told by God, “I am that I am.” I am God, the clouds tell me. I like it!…

Bumper sticker wisdom

Here’s some bumper sticker/wooden sign wisdom that I picked up in several artsy-crafty Sisters stores yesterday: “My greatest fear is that there is no PMS, and this is my personality.” “If life were logical, men would ride side-saddle.” “Isn’t a smoking area in a restaurant like a peeing area in a swimming pool?” “My wife keeps saying I never listen to her…or something like that.” “If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my dog.” I started paying more attention to this pithy literary genre because I was looking for a way to entertain…

Junkyard dog, No! Samurai canine, Hai!

“Hai,” that’s “yes” in Japanese. And that’s just what I’ll say if you ask whether my new best friend, Hero, is a genuine Samurai canine. Yes, he is. So no, don’t call him a junkyard dog, even though this is what a sadly mistaken Internet site terms him. Plus, Laurel told me that even the box he came in had his pedigree mislabeled. I didn’t notice this when the good folks at Sisters Cascade of Gifts (where we adopted him today) brought out the original carrier that he came from China in. It was too large for us to take…

“Hero”

If you haven’t seen “Hero,” the marvelous Chinese martial arts movie, you should do it while it is still viewable on a big screen. Last night Laurel and I marveled at the cinematography of “Hero.” You’ll see things that you’ve never seen in a movie before, and probably never will again—unless Zhang Yimou directs a sequel. If you have an aversion to sub-titles, quash your qualms and buy a ticket anyway. Ditto if you usually stay away from martial arts flicks, because “Hero” is to the typical martial arts movie as “The Godfather” is to the typical gangster movie: in…

Who the Hell is “Undecided”?

The incomparable Mark Morford of SFGate.com has an interesting take on election polls in his column today. He asks, who the hell could be undecided between Bush and Kerry, given the stark differences between them? And, whoever they are, how the hell could they be swayed so easily after a superficial slick slogan-filled convention (whether Democratic or Republican)? Morford gets it just right when he says, “These polls are designed solely to mangle your head and confound your synapses and elate you and titillate you and then plunge you into instant despair and then yank you back out at the…

My afternoon delight

Yeah, baby! I may be fifty-five years old, but most days I still take to heart the rockin’ message of “Afternoon Delight” (click here if you’re too young to know the tune of this classic song): My motto’s always been ‘when it’s right, it’s right! Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?... Looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Absolutely. If something feels good at midnight, it’s going to feel just as good at three in the afternoon. That’s why I’m an inveterate napper, and why I’m not ashamed to call the pillow in our extra bedroom…

Four reasons to smile today

It was nice to enter cyberspace today and find four reasons to smile. (1) Bush’s Convention Bounce. Could be just a modest two percentage points, according to a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll. Factor in the margin of error and it could be nothing. I believe a few other post-convention polls found a bigger bounce. Given that most people already seem to have a firm idea about who to vote for, two points sounds more likely to me. Anyway, this is good news for recently down in the dumps Kerry supporters. (2) Lion Tops Tiger. You have to love it when Vijay…

My own most embarrassing moment in sports

Like everyone else (except maybe some heartless Louisiana State fans), I’ve got a lot of empathy for the OSU placekicker, Alexis Serna, whose three missed extra points kept Oregon State from a stupendous college football upset yesterday over third ranked LSU. Oh, man, 22-21 in overtime. It was a great game that merits use of the overused cliche, “Neither team deserved to lose.” Alexis, I’ve been there with you, along with an awful lot of other guys and gals. When you threw down your helmet after the final missed kick and screamed in frustration, I screamed inside my head along…

Got a good fried cat recipe?

Here it is, Labor Day weekend coming up, nice Oregon weather forecast, outdoor eating time! And I can’t find a good recipe for fried cat. Damn. Been trying to figure out why Google, for once, has failed me. Best I could do was a song parody, and a warning that if you’re selling fried catfish, a partially burnt out neon sign isn’t good for business. I’m beginning to think that fried cat isn’t a very popular dish. But fried chicken…over a million search results, and plenty of recipes. Funny. Aren’t cats and chickens both animals? Aren’t both non-human? Don’t both…

Kerry needs to get cracking

Having CNN on while paying some bills has been a depressing experience. I probably should have been watching the Cartoon Channel, though the talking conservative heads at the Republican Convention certainly are equally amusing. I missed Zell Miller’s speech, but saw enough clips to realize how utterly mean-spirited and misleading he was. One commentator on CNN had a nice line: “With that speech he put ‘zealot’ back in ‘Zell.’” Laurel likes to believe that American voters will be influenced much more by facts than by rhetoric. I disagree. The hard-core voters on each end of the political spectrum clearly already…

To: CEO, United Airlines

Re: Have you ridden in economy class lately? Dear Mr. or Ms. CEO, forgive me for not addressing you by name, but in this open weblog posting I purposely have avoided learning anything about you—such as your sex, age, religion, body type—so that you will be more impressed if the following guesses about some of your personal characteristics turn out to be true. I am assuming that you do some flying on your own airline. Isn’t this what CEOs are supposed to do these days, get down in the trenches with their customers and employees, and learn about the company…

A wedding miracle: I dance!

There is something magic about every wedding, though Britney Spears’ Las Vegas escapade just sprung to mind, which demolishes the universal applicability of my topic sentence. Okay, let’s make it: There is something magic about almost every wedding, including Brook and Corey’s here in Indiana yesterday (Brook is Laurel’s niece). Laurel got to read a poem that she also had read at the wedding of Brook’s parents, Dee and Jerry, more years ago than any of them would want to remember. We worked on her delivery the night before. Laurel’s performance was great, in this drama coach’s entirely biased opinion.…

Images of Indiana

Even with a bit of jet lag we’re pretty sure this is Indiana. I took some photographic evidence today to confirm that we’ve left Oregon. I’ve never seen a Kudzu attack in the Northwest. I thought that Kudzu was a purely southern botanical nightmare, but the tenacious tendrils around the attackee here, Jerry Pagac (husband of Laurel’s sister, Mardee), prove otherwise. Jerry is the director of state parks in Indiana, so you'd think he'd know better than to get so close to rapidly growing Kudzu. Hopefully this non-native nuisance can't grow in Oregon. It'd be the devil's twin if it…

Crucial quiz: how long will you live?

It’s a sign of the (aging) times. Laurel used to read Cosmopolitan, and I would enjoy taking the infamous Cosmo quizzes, though often a bit of gender-bending was needed: “The hunky guy sitting next to you at the bar brushes his hand against your thigh. You’re not sure if it was an accident or on purpose, but you liked it. Do you …(A) …(B) …(C) …(D).” Hmmmm. It would take me a while to get the picture of a hunky guy stroking my thigh out of my mind, but once I did, and reinserted an image of Angelina Jolie, say,…

I am picture hanger, hear me roar!

Last night Laurel and I watched “Tigers of the Emerald Forest” on Animal Planet. I got to fantasize about being a big male tiger whose sole jobs are to (1) roam around the forest looking tough and oh-so-cool, (2) mate with every female tiger you can, and (3) kill a defenseless deer once in a while to keep up the energy to roam around and mate. Sounds pretty good to me. Well, except for (4) fight off the other male tigers that want to take over your roaming and mating grounds. But, hey, that comes with being the top tiger…

Sacrifice religion for God

It isn’t often that I recommend a 300 page book after reading just 30 pages. But I can already tell that “The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason” is a book well worth recommending. I’d been feeling listless all day until I took a first look at Sam Harris’ warnings against religion. Right away I felt energized. Brutally honest words can do that to you, especially when well-written, as Harris’ book is. I sense that Harris is a kindred spirit. He’s working on a doctorate in neuroscience, so his mind is attuned to the scientific method.…

Our vitamin creation story

Lo, in the beginning there was but a single substance, One undivided, complete unto itself yet containing all within its grasp. In the fullness of time this One could not but be fruitful and multiply. For such was commanded by the holy scriptures. And the people gazed upon the Creation with wonder. Bounty piled upon bounty, filling all space, soaring heavenward. Yea, but the people were called to journey. And they couldst not leave the Fruit of the One behind. So the sacraments were placed in sacred vessels, and the people couldst worship wheresoever they found themselves. But the Garden…

Liberals are losing at language

Why is it that liberals seem to have the facts on their side, but don’t have a clear majority of voters on their side? Yesterday I came across two persuasive arguments for a simple answer: It’s the language, stupid! Liberals don’t know how to use words effectively. Conservatives do. In the July/August issue of the Sierra Club magazine there’s a fascinating article called “Winning Words” (available online). The author, Katy Butler, says: “It’s not for want of solid facts and rational arguments that the environment has lost ground, says cognitive scientist George Lakoff, author of Moral Politics: How Liberals and…

Plotinus and me: Spirituality is seeing, not believing

One of the worst things about writing is that your thoughts are visible, always to yourself and often to others. This also is one of the best things about writing. Worst, best? To me it depends on how honest my writing is, and how well my words comport with my actions. I hate to re-read something I’ve written and realize that I don’t believe my own words. Yet, even if I’ve written something true to my beliefs, it is painful to read if I’m not acting as if I believe my purported beliefs. Is there anything worse than hypocrisy? Well,…

I try to think like a terrorist

Well, that’s a gutsy title for a posting. Hopefully we won’t be getting any middle of the night knocks on the door from Homeland Security. Note to Tom Ridge: focus on the word “try” in the subject line and the unlikelihood of a real terrorist openly posting his thoughts on a weblog. Which gets at what I’ve been thinking about—the utter improbability that all of the Homeland Security alerts and efforts, both here and abroad, really are seriously disrupting Al Qaeda’s terror plans. Of course, I’m entirely willing to admit, and I certainly hope (given our upcoming travel plans), that…