Police do read weblogs

Sender: “Black Butte Police” Subject: “Weblogs”

This header definitely caught my eye as I scanned my Outlook inbox for new email messages. What had I done? And why was the Black Butte Police force coming after me for doing it? I skipped past the daily deluge of plaintive missives from the Kerry campaign, Democratic Party, and MoveOn.Org to click on this mysterious communication.

The message was short:

“By the way, we do read weblogs! Your citation will be forthcoming….Just joking.
Gil Zaccaro, Chief
Black Butte Ranch PD”

I was immediately appreciative to Chief Zaccaro for adding “just joking.” But now I had to figure out what he was just joking about. I couldn’t remember any genuinely citationable offenses we had committed at Black Butte Ranch. (And even if I could have, I darn well wouldn’t admit to them in this posting, now that I know the Chief’s fondness for Googling.)

So I looked through the “recreation” category of HinesSight for just-joking-offenses. It didn’t take me long to locate the post that caught Chief Zaccaro’s eye, for along with an incriminating photo I had said:

“Since I’m an avid writer and reader, naturally I didn’t pay attention to any of the large, clearly lettered signs plastered along the length of the corral fence. When Laurel returned and saw me patting a horse she pointed out this message. I then made Miss Goodie-Two-Shoes-Always-Do-What-You’re-Told express some of her wild side. But she didn’t want to show her face, in case the Black Butte Ranch police read weblogs.”

I wrote back to the Chief and told him that I was prepared to testify against my wife if there was a substantial reward in it for me. In fact, I was also prepared to testify against myself if this would double the reward.

Sadly for my pocketbook, but happily for my marriage, Chief Zaccaro replied: “Your ‘reward’ is that you get to come back and enjoy the ranch again.” OK, fair enough. This is my kind of policeman—a weblog reader with a warm sense of humor.

If he ever catches me speeding in Black Butte Ranch, I’ll remind the Chief of his saying that I like so much: “Your citation will be forthcoming….Just joking.”