Vote! Everyone! Now!

Periodically there is a vote that is so important, it determines the state of our civilization. My friends, such a vote is at hand. It is your civic duty to cast your ballot—hopefully exactly as we advise. I am speaking, of course, about the Oregonian’s comics survey.

Laurel is a serious student of the comics, just as I analyze in depth the sports section each day, rejoicing when I note that the Trailblazers have a worse record than the Clippers. I pay much less attention to the comics, leaving it to Laurel to show me worthy amusement that falls outside of my habitual Doonesbury/Dilbert/Cathy purview.

Laurel reads almost every comic, so when she saw the headline, “The Oregonian’s comics: Help us strip out a few,” this grabbed her attention. Four comics are being considered for elimination: “Sylvia,” “Judge Parker,” “Cathy,” and “Peanuts.” Whatever comics are dropped will be replaced by new comics beginning January 10.

So time is of the essence! I have already dawdled too long in bringing this vital issue to your attention. Vote now, and preferably exactly as Laurel instructs: “Judge Parker” is terrible, so is fine to go, but “Sylvia,” “Cathy,” and “Peanuts” are better than her choices to send to the comics trash bin: “Hagar the Horrible” (truly horrible), “Mutts,” (disgustingly sickly sweet), “and “Family Circus” (one panel instead of four, best thing about it).

Send an email to comics@news.oregonian.com To make things easy, just copy and paste this perfectly composed message:
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Comics editor, with all my heart and soul I beg you to get rid of these comics instead of the four you are mistakenly contemplating for removal (“Judge Parker” should indeed go, but not the other three). Please send these unworthy comics to oblivion: “Hagar the Horrible,” “Mutts,” “Family Circus,” and “Judge Parker.”
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Also on the comics front, back in December a letter trashing “Doonesbury” appeared in the Salem Statesman-Journal. Laurel got out her frequently used husband-whip and made me write a response in defense of one of our favorite comics. For some reason the newspaper hasn’t printed my letter, which either was too acerbic or (more likely) was submitted too soon after one of my anti-Measure 37 letters was printed.

I’ll share my so-far-ignored letter so at least a few people can read my short but sage answer to the Doonesbury hater:

Stephen Buck (letters, Dec. 22) complains that the Doonesbury comic strip insults the intelligence of a “huge number” of Statesman-Journal readers, presumably Bush voters. Well, polls show that two-thirds of Bush voters believe that God created humans in our present form, and three-fourths believe Saddam Hussein provided substantial support to al-Qaeda or was involved in the 9/11 attacks. Since the scientific evidence for evolution is beyond dispute, and the 9/11 Commission found no strong Iraq ties to al-Qaeda nor any involvement with the attacks, I have to ask: Who really is responsible for insulting the intelligence of Bush voters? Is it Garry Trudeau or the voters themselves?