Posted inHumor

Hilarious Oh Holy Night renditions

God, I love Google. Through its magic I found a belly laugh-producing video rendition of “Oh Holy Night” after hearing it played on a radio talk show this evening. Callers-in begged the host to never, ever, play it again. Funny. I liked it. But then, this guy sings humorously better than I sing seriously. If you’re in the mood for another gut-splitting “Oh Holy Night,” I recommend Eric Cartman’s electrifying performance on a South Park episode.
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Posted inMeasure 37

Measure 37’s bubble bursts at subdivision hearing

There was a loud pop in a Marion County hearing room last night. Dozens of our neighbors burst the bubble of Measure 37, the horribly flawed attempt to trash Oregon’s land use laws. My wife and I have the unfortunate distinction of living near one of the first Measure 37 subdivision proposals to reach the county Planning Commission. Leroy Laack and his co-owners are out to convert 124 acres of beautiful farmland, perfect for growing grapes or some other crop, into 42 lots. Just as Peter Bray predicted in his ironic Oregonians…Get Rich Quick With Measure 37! When I first…
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Posted inFamily

2006 Christmas letter

Hot off my laptop is Laurel and Brian’s 2006 Holiday Greetings, a.k.a. our Christmas letter. I ponder my incipient grandfatherness and speak of dog walking, colonoscopies, Tango, land use activism, and why blogging beats book writing. PDF and Word versions are available: Download 2006_christmas_letter.pdf Download 2006_christmas_letter.doc My complete 1995-2006 Christmas letter oeuvre may be perused in “Collected Christmas letters.” I like to say that a man's soul is revealed through his Christmas letters. Well, if God rewards humor, cynicism, and blatant self-promotion, my salvation is in darn good shape.
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Posted inNeighborhood

Dog and man walk in an Oregon windstorm

My wife offered the first review of my recently released YouTube feature, Walk in Oregon windstorm. “The dramatic mood of danger is undermined by Serena wagging her tail so much,” she said. True. But such is the challenge of cinema verite. I show what it was actually like to walk through our south Salem woods in the late afternoon of Thursday, December 14, 2006, as a major windstorm was blowing in. I wish these seven and a half minutes contained more adventure. However, I’m glad that this didn’t include a large Douglas Fir falling on me. That possibility was in…
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Posted inCurrent affairs Philosophy

What’s God got to do with lost climbers?

Hope I don’t sound heartless when I say to the relatives of the climbers lost on Mt. Hood, “Please, keep God out of your news conferences. Don’t use this tragedy as a platform for your religious faith.” Today Frank James, brother of climber Kelly James, said on Fox News: We are waiting and praying. Certainly there is a lot of praying. There are from time to time, tears. From time to time there is laughter…Our faith is strong. Our faith is three-fold. We have faith in Kelly, and Brian, and Nikko. We have faith in the rescuers. And we have…
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Posted inTango/Dance

Dancing Tango with myself

Our last Salem Tango class was last night. We didn’t go to it but were there in spirit. It isn’t possible for Peter, the instructor, to drive up from Corvallis each week anymore. Laurel and I are deeply appreciative of all the time and energy he and Joy, the organizer of the classes, put into bringing Tango to Salem for most of 2006. In the “Tango” category of this blog you can learn what Tango has come to mean to me (scroll down past this post, which is at the top of the category postings). I’m still a rank beginner…
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Posted inMiscellany

Bratz, Barbies, and bonobos

I bought my first Bratz recently. Looking over a Giving Tree at my athletic club, where Christmas present requests from needy children were hanging, just about every six to nine year old girl wanted a Bratz. So I headed off to Fred Meyer and entered a new doll world. They’re a lot hotter and hipper than Barbie. More controversial, also, as a fascinating article in The New Yorker (“Little Hotties: Barbie’s new rivals”) discusses at length. These excerpts convey the essence of the Bratz appeal. And for many mothers, the fright. "Bratz dolls have large heads and skinny bodies; their…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Lars Larson blames James Kim for taking a wrong turn. But not George Bush.

According to conservative talk show host Lars Larson, James Kim is at fault for trusting a government map. What an idiot. I’m talking about Larson, not Kim. Kim died when he and his family tried to take a treacherous Oregon back road after they missed a turnoff to Gold Beach via state Highway 42. They ended up stuck in snow. After a week, no rescuers had appeared. Kim left the car and set out on foot to seek help. He succumbed to hypothermia. A tragedy. Thankfully, his wife and two children survived. Wednesday Larson talked about the Kims on his…
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Posted inPhilosophy

My radio interview about the changing face of faith

Last night I channeled myself on a radio interview with two mediums. Marcel and Lenny had me back for another chat about churchless faith on their Achieve Radio program, “In Good Spirit.” Who knew that in the past few months I was fated to have so much contact with a couple of mediums, after a lifetime of psychic skepticism? Well, maybe Marcel and Lenny. But I don’t know, since I’m still skeptical. Which brings to mind my favorite part about the interview: I didn’t say “you know” nearly as much as last time. Before the phone rang to connect me…
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Posted inMeasure 37

Time to get mad and suspend Measure 37

If you love Oregon, fire up your fury. Because Measure 37 is threatening to pave our state over with unregulated subdivisions. As the lead Oregonian editorial said yesterday, the true game behind Measure 37 now is evident. It never was about letting little old ladies like Dorothy English build a home on family land that some bad bureaucrat said, “No!” to. That was just a ploy to con voters. Timber companies supplied most of the money needed to pass the measure in 2004. Now we’re seeing why. Plum Creek Timber Company has filed a Measure 37 claim on 32,000 acres…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

I swear on the Quran, “It’s OK to swear on the Quran”

Well, I’m taking some liberty with this blog post title. I do indeed own a copy of the Quran, but I can’t find it at the moment. I’d be pleased to swear an oath on it, though. Just like the first Muslim member of Congress, Keith Ellison, is intending to do next month. Of course, the difference between Ellison and me is that I’d be equally happy to place my hand on a Bible, Bhagavad Gita, Tao Te Ching, or any other supposedly holy book and attest to whatever someone wanted me to affirm. I wouldn’t care which book it…
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Posted inMiscellany

Software that makes me smile

Most computer software that I use is blandly functional, like Word and Outlook. Some of it is curse-worthy crap that I get rid of as soon as I can. And then there’s the sweet stuff: software that brings a smile. Because it’s so beautifully designed. Because it does what it’s supposed to. Because it fixes a vexing problem caused by less praise-worthy software. Here's what I’m currently in love with on my laptop. Google. Lots to like here. I just downloaded Google Desktop after a lengthy absence. I had it on my old computer and decided to give it another…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Lars Larson spouts conservative talk radio hypocrisy

My wife can’t understand why I listen to right-wing blowhards like Lars Larson, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity, Victoria Taft, John Gibson, and Bill O’Reilly. I tell her that driving along with Lars on the radio gives me the cardiovascular equivalent of a two-mile jog, my heart rate and blood pressure rise so much. More seriously, I love it when I catch one of these pontificators in an especially blatant conservative hypocrisy. Which is common. That’s one reason why the Republicans did so poorly in the mid-term elections: voters were fed up with all the say one thing and do another…
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Posted inCurrent affairs

A shocker!

This news has shaken my world. I never saw it coming. Are we nearing the end times? Can the center hold? Is there anything that can be counted on anymore? Will the world stop spinning on its axis?
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Posted inCurrent affairs

Saudi Arabia sex slave story brings Borat to real life

A Saudi Arabia man living in Colorado has been sentenced 28 years to life in prison after he was convicted of sexually assaulting an Indonesian housekeeper and using her as a virtual sex slave. A news video shows him saying, “The state has criminalized these basic Muslim behaviors.” Indeed, the Colorado attorney general had to fly to Saudi Arabia to explain to authorities there why the man, Homaidan Al-Turki, committed a crime. David Harsanyi, Denver Post columnist, writes: In Saudi Arabia - a moderate Muslim nation, correct? - women are forbidden to drive and must be covered head to toe…
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Posted inHome life

Unplug the Christmas machine

There’s nothing wrong with Christmas except almost everything. Frantically buying presents. Obsessively decorating the house. Feverishly socializing. Leave all of that stuff out and you’re left with something good. It just isn’t Christmas as we in the United States know it. But it’s surely a lot closer to what the man we’re supposedly honoring, Jesus, would have wanted. I found this image at Buy Nothing Christmas ’06, along with other posters that inspired my increasingly minimalist Christmas soul. Last night Laurel said, “Let’s not get each other any presents this year.” “Sounds good to me,” I told her. I’ve already…
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Posted inHome life

Now & Zen Unturkey has flown the coop

What a Thanksgiving bummer! It looks like this beautiful creature is going extinct. Yes, this could be the last time a much beloved Now & Zen Unturkey graces our vegetarian table. I had no problem buying this ungobbler a few days ago at LifeSource Natural Foods. But this disturbing page greeted me when I tried to access the Now & Zen web site. And the buzz over at Veggie Boards isn’t encouraging: Now & Zen is no more. Same message here. Nor is there any cyberspace sign of Green Options, the company that reportedly bought the makers of the Unturkey.…
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Posted inMeasure 37

Support for Oregon’s Measure 37 is sinking

It's clear. Support for Measure 37, the attempt to trash Oregon’s pioneering land use laws, has crested. Now, after having experienced two years of nightmarish Measure 37 claims, Oregonians are awakening to a better way of dealing with property rights inequities. A poll found that Oregonians would now reject Measure 37 by a wide margin. This goes a long way toward explaining Gov. Kulongoski’s new-found enthusiasm for introducing legislation in the 2007 session that would fix problems with this ill-conceived measure. (In 2005 I wrote, “Kulongoski caves in on Measure 37.” May that be the last time). It also helps…
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Posted inSalem

Why Salem is better than Portland

Bet you think this will be the world’s shortest blog post, given that title. Hah! Dream on, overly proud Portlanders. This Salem resident is about to show you what you’re missing if you don’t live in Oregon’s capital. [Blog fact check: our address has “Salem” in it, but my wife and I live five miles outside the city limits. Nonetheless, we’re Salemites through and through, as evidenced by our bland dispositions.] What you're missing is: plenty of vacant free downtown parking spaces. Now, admittedly this photo was taken around noon today, a rainy Sunday, but this is a typical Salem…
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Posted inSalem

Slow down, you’re trying to move too fast

Downtown Salem was gridlocked last Wednesday evening. Not exactly like New York City, but it was a pretty good imitation of gridlock for generally sleepy Salem. I’d parked on the right side of Court Street at 4:30 to go to my Tai Chi class. When I went outside at 6:15 I saw that traffic was barely moving. I went into Starbucks for my traditional post Tai Chi grande nonfat vanilla latte. The barista told me she’d heard there was an accident on Front Street. Plus, the windstorm had reportedly disabled some traffic lights. I told her, “Fortunately I’m heading south…
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