Posted inHome life

Electrical switch erotica: “three-way” really a “two-way”

My wife has gotten me into three-ways. I've been enjoying myself, though sometimes it's hard to figure out what goes where. The erotic temperature of this blog post starts to decline after those first sentences because I'm talking about electrical switches. Sorry. Our forty year old house mostly has old-fashioned standard light switches, not the more modern-looking "decorator" switches. So my wife went to Lowe's and bought a bunch of switches, both two-way and three-way. She forgot that a couple of switches at the bottom of our stairs control lights which also are controlled by switches at the top of…
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Posted inDogs Home life

How our dogs, cute as they are, drive me crazy

Dogs, we're told, evolved along with humans. So just as what other people do is a source of both joy and exasperation for us, family dogs are adept at the same behaviors.  As are children, of course. This is why I never regret having only one child. Early on I realized the truth of basic arithmetic: a mother and father together (2) outnumber a child (1), and apart equal the child (1 = 1). However, a mother and father together (2) equal a pair of children (2), and apart are outnumbered by them (1 < 2). Which explains the qualms…
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Posted inHome life

I hate jury duty. Here’s why.

Right now I'm trying my best to not listen to an irritating video about the All-American importance of jury duty, a video I've ignored before previous times I've been called as a juror. It's being played here in the jury assembly room on the 5th floor of the Marion County (Oregon) Courthouse. One purpose of the video is to make me and my fellow morose potential jurors feel better about being forced to take time off of work, or whatever our usual life consists of, and do something we don't want to do. Amazingly, I just heard a woman on…
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Posted inDogs Home life

Our dogs are featured in Statesman Journal “PetClick”!

Fame. It's fleeting. Especially if you're a dog. Got to divide potential human fame-years by seven. So today Laurel and I were thrilled to see Serena and Zu Zu prominently displayed at the top of page 6D in the Salem Statesman Journal. (Just five pages from page 1! And three sections from section A!) Naturally you'll want to click on the image to enlarge our dogs closer to full size. And if you want to preserve the PetClick in another electronic form to become part of your Important Historical Archives, here's the PDF file. Download Pet Click Statesman Journal  The…
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Posted inHome life Philosophy

Arrival of my Buddha nature has been delayed

Shopping at the south Salem Fred Meyer store today provided more evidence that my boundless compassion for all sentient beings, a.k.a. Buddha nature, has some room to grow. Scene: I'm pleased to find a checkout lane in the grocery section that only has two people in front of me. Hey, I may be retired, but I'm a busy guy. This is only the second stop in my Trader Joe's - Fred Meyer - LifeSource Natural Foods route. I've already been to Les Schwab Tires and the post office. I've got to pick up our tuned-up bicycles at a bike shop.…
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Posted inHome life Web/Tech

Why I ended up buying a 13 inch retina MacBook Pro

I plunked down $2,300 and change for a 13 inch retina MacBook Pro yesterday (256 GB flash storage, plus Apple Care and a USB Superdrive). I must have been one of the first to order the computer on Apple's web site, since I kept refreshing the closed-down store page until it popped up all functional, with the new goodies -- iPad Mini, new iMac, and my lusted-for laptop -- ready for purchase. Surprising. Because if I believed myself, I never would have thought that I'd end up doing what I just did. Consider... Last June I anguished about whether to…
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Posted inHome life

A guy backed into my Mini Cooper today…

So, this afternoon I pull out of the Lifesource Natural Foods parking lot here in Salem, carrot juice ready to be consumed as a healthy mini-lunch, and find myself behind a guy in a car who's also trying to turn onto Commercial Street. He pulls forward, seemingly having spotted a break in the traffic. I drive forward a bit also, figuring that if he's going to turn onto Commercial, perhaps it'll be possible for me to get onto the street, after he does. But after pulling forward, he stops, having changed his mind about turning. No problem, I think. I stop…
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Posted inHome life

When a man goes to the dermatologist

A few days ago I went to the dermatologist for a six-month checkup on some benign skin growths that had been frozen off. Here's how the conversation went after the physician's assistant (PA) who had done the cryotherapy walked into the exam room. PA: Hey, good to see you again. How are the growths looking that we froze off last time? ME: I don't know. I try not to look at myself very closely. When I'm in the bathroom, I stand as far back from the mirror as I can, and then I blur my eyes when I have to…
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Posted inHome life Web/Tech

Yes, the new Apple Maps sucks. It led me astray.

I'm glad I still have Navigon on my iPhone 5, because I can't trust Apple Maps after what happened yesterday.  I've been playing around with Apple Maps since I got my new iPhone last Friday. Some reviewers have called it the worst Apple product ever. Don't know if I'd go that far, since when it works, Apple Maps handles turn by turn directions well. But when it doesn't... you're not going to get to where you want to go. Fortunately, I knew where Silver Falls Dermatology is in south Salem. I had a 1:45 pm appointment for a check-up and…
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Posted inHome life Web/Tech

After some awkwardness, iPhone 5 and me become friends

Being a long-time user of Apple'ish things (iPods, MacBooks, iPhones), I have reasonable expectations of a new product: It will work perfectly and make me ecstatically happy!  Most of the time this happens, more or less. Getting my iPhone 5 order via FedEx yesterday and firing up this long-awaited replacement for my iPhone 4 was right in line with previous Apple experience. After a few glitches, bliss. What threw me off at first was iTunes, which strikes me as disturbingly un-Apple. iTunes looks and acts like something a Microsoft programmer would produce. Functional, yet rather difficult to use and understand.…
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Posted inHome life

Global warming makes me buy “snow tires”

I'm not kidding, despite the title of this blog post. This year I really am strongly leaning toward getting snow tires for my 2011 Mini Cooper S, and part of the reason is global warming.  Yes, the world is getting warmer. But this doesn't mean that winter weather everywhere is going to be milder. Actually, it's going to be weirder.  Does it seem as though your weather has become increasingly “stuck” lately? Day after day of cold, rain, heat, or blue skies may not be a figment of your imagination. While various oceanic and atmospheric patterns such as El Niño,…
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Posted inHome life Web/Tech

I’m one of the first to order the iPhone 5. Am I gloating?

Night owls that we are, my wife and I were watching a recorded The Daily Show episode as midnight approached yesterday. Her attention was on the TV. Mine was on my watch, as I waited for the hour to strike twelve, when preorders for the iPhone 5 were scheduled to begin. I'd already decided that Verizon would replace AT&T, now that our two-year iPhone 4 contract had expired. The remaining challenge was to get my ordering underway as soon as possible given the obvious pent-up demand for an updated iPhone with a new digit after its name. The iPhone 4S…
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Posted inHome life Web/Tech

Why I’m not going to wait for a 13 inch Retina MacBook Pro

Rumor has it (isn't Mr/Ms Rumor a reliable source?) that a 13 inch Retina Macbook Pro will be announced by Apple on September 12, along with the long-awaited iPhone 5 and probably other goodies. I've used a 13 inch MacBook Pro for over three years. Love it! At least I did, until the 15 inch Retina MacBook Pro was released. Since, I've bounced back and forth about what Apple laptop should replace my aged current one. On the day of the release I blogged, "New Retina MacBook Pro or MacBook Air? Laptop lust will decide." At that point I was…
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Posted inHome life

Warning should come with 2012 Portland Street of Dreams

Last Friday my wife and I, along with two south Salem neighbors, ventured up I-5 to experience the 2012 version of Northwest Natural's Portland-area Street of Dreams.  We enjoyed ourselves, but after gawking at seven houses in the $950,000 to $1,300,000 price range I felt like every admission ticket should come with a warning: Visitors to the Street of Dreams are hereby warned that after viewing these houses, you will find your own home disgusting and unlivable. Everything you like about your current home will seem shabby and horribly out of date. Unless you're a 1%'er, what you lust for…
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Posted inHome life

Act my age? That’s a really bad idea.

My driver's license says I'm 63. So does my birth certificate. But how old am I, really? Answering that question requires that we get down to what's real. And that's a matter of opinion. Yes, I believe in objective reality when it comes to science. I won't argue calendar facts. The Earth takes a year to go around the sun. I've been alive for 63 of them. No argument there. But subjective reality is really real also. When I ignore the subjectively irrelevant detail of my calendar age, close my eyes, forget the past, focus on the now, and simply…
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Posted inHome life

My wife parallel parks better than me

Wow. I said it. Right there in the title of this blog post. A headline. Wasn't as hard as I thought.  Neither was getting out of our car yesterday after I'd mangled my first attempt at getting into a fairly tight parking space on a cross-street between LIberty and Commercial, conveniently near the Salem Art Fair in Bush Park. "There's a spot!" my passenger-seated wife had yelled out a minute or so before. "I think it's too small," I told her, not entirely accurately. Because actually what had gone through my mind as I glanced at the size of the…
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Posted inHome life Skateboarding

My senior citizen skateboarding: days 1 & 2

Yeah, I did it. Got a skateboard. Longboard, actually. They're different breeds of the same four-wheeled animal. Quite different critters. Skateboards are all tricky; longboards are for cruising, carving, dancing. I thought about the pros and cons of jumping into longboarding at the age of 63 (see here and here).  Then my inner voice, which hopefully isn't a senile or self-destructive one, spoke to me. "Dude, do it!" Since it used the word dude, I trusted the voice. Figured it was in tune with the skateboarding vibe.  After talking with the dudes at Salem's Exit Real World skateboard/snowboard shop, I…
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Posted inHome life Recreation

Indiana is weird: down on coffee, up on chickens in swings

Yesterday I got back from a visit to Indiana. It was bizarre there. Starting with the weather. On Saturday we were driving around in our (blessedly) air conditioned rental car. I glanced at the outside temperature display. 108 degrees. One...hundred...eight...degrees. With high humidity. I felt like I was being waterboarded while standing straight up. At first it was difficult for my Oregon lungs to breathe. I kept thinking, "Is this air, or watery gruel I'm inhaling?" Whenever the highly unusual heat wave came up in a conversation with locals, I'd mention global warming as often as I could. Indiana being rather…
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Posted inHome life Skateboarding

Senior citizen skateboarding: my new passion?

Can't get it out of my mind. Longboarding, which is skateboarding on, duh..., a longer board. After blogging about how I'm seriously considering giving longboarding a try at the age of 63, asking "am I crazy?", I've come to no firm conclusion. Of course, knowing the answer wouldn't tell me much. I've never had a desire to be averagely normal. And leaving aside obvious clinical insanity, craziness is pretty much in the eye of the beholder. We all do, think, and believe stuff which makes other people say, that's crazy! While to us... they're crazy. So viva la craziness. The…
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Posted inHome life Skateboarding

At 63, I’m seriously considering skateboarding. Am I crazy?

I've never been on a skateboard in my sixty-three years. But after a great conversation yesterday with a guy eight years older than I am, I'm seriously thinking of getting a longboard skateboard -- for cruising around, not doing fancy tricks. Is this crazy? Not to me. And not to the 71 year old man I met while we were waiting for our cars to be serviced at Mini of Portland. Killing time, we found ourselves standing together, looking at the new Mini two seat model in the showroom. Noticing what I was wearing, he said "That's a Crazy Shirt."…
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