Posted inDogs Home life

We adopt a dog. Lovingly, likingly, happily.

My wife, Laurel, is a dog "LOVER." I'm a dog "lover": lower case; hold the boldface.  That's why I'm waiting for her to come home with a dog we've adopted from a rescue shelter in Gig Harbor, Washington. Gig Harbor. A three hour, thirty-eight minute drive from our south Salem, Oregon home according to Google Maps. Which is about two and a half hours more than I was willing to journey to look at another potential family animal companion after our previous long-distance excursion to a Florence dog shelter ended pet-less. "This is crazy," Laurel said, as we were returning…
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Posted inDogs Home life

Wanted: dog just like ours, but much younger

My wife wants to get another dog, even though our current canine companion, Serena, is still very much alive at the age of twelve -- though admittedly slowing down. (But isn't that to be expected given that she's 80+ in dog years?) Recently Serena helped me survive the Great Salem Snow-pocalypse of 2012, so I feel a lot of loyalty toward her. Plus, I believe in the adage that worked great during my child (singular)-raising years: don't allow you and your spouse to be out-numbered. One little child, two large parents. That's a fair fight. Yet even then the kid…
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Posted inHome life

People who throw cigarette butts out of their car are…

My wife and I have quite a few words that finish off the title of this blog post. Jerks. Inconsiderate. Litterers.  It hugely bugs us when we see someone toss a cigarette butt out of a car window. But usually the offender is driving along in front of us, so it's difficult to see what sort of person is the inconsiderate littering jerk. Today I had a chance to get a close-up view of that odious species, Cigarettebutt discardiatis. I was pushing my shopping cart in the south Salem Fred Meyer parking lot. Nearing my vehicle, I saw a car…
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Posted inHome life

Hines weight loss system: take a crap

Here's a can't-miss way to lose quite a bit of weight almost instantly. I'm sharing it with the world because I'd love it if this became known as the "Brian Hines Weight Loss System." (Don't hesitate to reblog this post and share it on social networks. Just make sure that my name keeps on being prominently featured.) I weigh myself every morning as soon as I get up, dutifully recording the result in my iPhone Weightbot app. I've noticed that my weight will mysteriously vary by a pound or two from day to day, even though I hadn't changed my…
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Posted inHome life Sustainability

Our Nissan Leaf doesn’t give me “range anxiety”

"Range anxiety" is a hyped-up malady potential electric car owners shouldn't worry much about. Yes, at first I worried about how far our Nissan Leaf would go on a charge. Now, I don't.  After four months of owning the electric Leaf, I enjoy driving the car almost as much as our Mini Cooper S. (Not quite... nothing is more fun than a Mini Cooper in my utterly biased opinion.)  It's quiet, smooth, responsive, and handles well. The turning radius seems as small as the Mini's. The interior is light, open, and well-designed. For a $26,000 car, after federal and state…
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Posted inHome life

Yellowbook, stay out of our mailbox! It’s illegal.

Curses to the companies that drop unwanted "yellow pages" directories beside our mailbox. That's littering, and we hate it.  And double curses to Yellowbook for putting the Salem - Keizer 2012 2013 version of their unwanted directory inside our mailbox without postage or an address label. That's illegal, and we hate it even more. I've filed a complaint with the Postal Service, choosing "tampering" as the offense. If this happened to you, and you want to file your own complaint, here's the Yellowbook corporate headquarters address and phone number (this is needed to file a Postal Service complaint):  Yellowbook398 RXR…
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Posted inHome life Salem

Photos of rural south Salem’s snow-pocalypse

Who says the pioneer spirit in Oregon died out with the pioneers? It was alive and well today on what many are calling our state's 2012 snow-pocalypse. Though for some reason, many also are not. Hopefully these photos of my personal snow-pocalypse will change the minds of skeptics who doubt the severity of our recent weather emergency. My better judgment said, "Stay inside during this wild storm." My daring heart, along with a forlorn looking family pet, said "Risk your life and go for a dog walk." Given the inclement weather, even our dog, Serena, looked unsure about our chances…
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Posted inHome life Humor

Weight training women, respect egos of older men

Astoundingly, via Google I wasn't able to find a reference to the most important bit of weight training etiquette every buff woman who frequents an athletic club needs to know: Do not, repeat, do not, leave a higher weight on a machine or piece of equipment than the senior citizen men in the weight room can handle themselves. This has bothered me for a long time. Today I learned that I'm not alone. Clearly, the time has come to educate women about proper weight training etiquette -- other than the obvious, like here, here, and here. This afternoon I chatted with…
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Posted inHealth Home life

Do my telomeres look longer? (I’m taking astragalus)

About four years ago I shared my supplements list with a mildly- to un-interested world. Seems like a good time to do it again, since there's been some Big News in the non-prescription nostrums I take every day to keep disability, disease, and death at bay. I've gone from 22 supplements to 19. Gone are two algae oil sources of DHA and EPA, as I've replaced these with Ultimate Omega fish oil. Even though I'm a vegetarian, I decided that consuming fish oil was OK, karma-wise, since there doesn't seem to be an equally good non-animal source of omega-3 fatty acids.…
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Posted inFamily Home life

Our unreal (really!) 2011 Christmas Letter is unveiled

Every year I struggle, for a whole fifteen seconds or so, to come up with a theme for our Christmas Letter -- which we call, with marvelous political correctness, "Holiday Greetings from Laurel and Brian." Once again it was easy to identify a zeitgeist for 2011. Unreal. Such has become our favorite way of handling reality: treat it as illusion.  [Legal disclaimer: this only works with brain-stuff such as emotions, worries, fears, and such. Ignore a red traffic light and your results almost certainly will differ.] So here's our totally unreal 2011 Christmas Letter, a.k.a. Holiday Greetings. Read it and…
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Posted inHome life

Mailing Christmas cards still feels right to me

I'm a techno guy. I've got an iPhone, MacBook Pro, Roku, and Apple TV. Plus two blogs and Facebook/Twitter accounts. But today I mailed the last of my Christmas cards. Yes, mailed.  As in where you pick up a card and envelope from a box, write your name and maybe some personal thoughts on the card, fold over a photo-filled Holiday Letter that you and your wife composed, place it inside the card, put the card inside the envelope, seal the envelope with a lick of your tongue, write the address of the person you're sending it to as legibly as…
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Posted inHome life Web/Tech

I return my Kindle Fire — after one day

Within half an hour of the earliest time it was possible to order a Kindle Fire on Amazon's web site, my one-click reservation had been made. Within three hours of opening up the Kindle box after UPS delivered it yesterday, I'd decided to return the pseudo-tablet. Which I did this afternoon. I'm sorry Amazon, but Apple has spoiled me. I have a MacBook Pro laptop that I love. I have an iPhone 4 that I love. My wife has an iPad 2 that I sort of love, my limited affection for it perhaps being more a matter of our passing…
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Posted inHome life Humor

Help with my .XXX site market research

Until today I'd never considered becoming a purveyor of XXX material. But I just got an email from my domain name registrar, Dotster, informing me of how important it is to have a .XXX presence now that this top-level domain is available. Registering a .XXX domain enables you to keep control of your online brand. Landrush is open to members of the Sponsored Community or individuals who qualify to become members. General Availability is open to everyone regardless of whether you are an adult industry professional or simply looking to protect your web presence. Well, I don't exactly understand what…
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Posted inHealth Home life

Why I decided to still get a PSA test

I'm a believer in scientific research. I worked as a health planner for over ten years. I wrote a well-received analysis, "Quality of life in allocating health care resources." I understand that much medical care is wasteful, unneeded, and ineffective. Nonetheless, at my annual physical last week this 63 year old guy still decided to get a PSA test, which is used to detect prostate cancer. Only problem is, the test isn't very effective. In October the United States Preventive Services Task Force recommended against getting the test, in most cases.  Healthy men should no longer receive a P.S.A. blood test to screen…
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Posted inHome life

Coffee measuring rule: use 2 tablespoons per 6 ounces

I love coffee. I've made it every day for many years. But recently I learned that I've been making it wrong. Too weak. Damn you, Mr. Coffee! Obeying the instructions on my Mr. Coffee drip machine, I've been dutifully using three tablespoons of ground coffee per 20 ounces of water (four 5 ounce cups, which to me -- and lots of other people these caffeinated days -- actually is one cup of coffee, a "Venti" in Starbucks terminology). But that's just .15 tablespoons of coffee per ounce of water, whereas the Holy Commandment of coffee making is to use two…
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Posted inCurrent affairs Home life

Getting smarter from doing something stupid

Our electronic air cleaner and I have a rocky relationship. It's down in our crawlspace, attached to our heat pump duct work. Every three months or so I vacuum the air cleaner's removable filters, which requires taking its door off. And more often than I'd like to admit -- but since this is a self-revealing blog, I'll admit it -- I have a tough time getting the door back on.  The door has metal flanges that fit behind its metal enclosure. A diagram on the door shows how it's supposed to fit over the enclosure, after which two gizmos are…
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Posted inHome life

Les Schwab in south Salem helps me get un-lug nutty

Les Schwab (the tire center) and I have a long relationship, all positive so far. Sure, we part company on the "Free Beef" deal -- how about some free tofu? -- and we've got different views on a proposed Oregon studded tire ban, but I really like the Les Schwab commitment to customer service. There's quite a few stories on the Internet about how a Les Schwab employee went above and beyond the call of duty to help someone with a tire problem. Mine isn't as dramatic as most, but I still want to share how my lug nut problem…
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Posted inHome life

How I sold our 2007 Prius: what worked, and what didn’t

Yesterday I sold our 2007 Prius Touring for a fair price: $16,000. The buyer was happy, and I'm happy. So now that I've had the vast experience of one recent private party used car sale, I'll share my tips for car-selling in this Internet age. In short: AutoTrader good, Craigslist bad. I only got two serious inquiries about the car, both through AutoTrader. My Craigslist ad mostly resulted in email messages that said: "Location? I can pick it up," along with "How much are you asking for this car ?? Ive been wanting to buy one like this so if…
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Posted inHome life Humor

Will our dog fit in a Nissan Leaf?

I have many unanswered questions.I'm still trying to learn the meaning of life, what will happen to me after I die, and why the Kardashian sisters are famous (I do have a guess: they're famous for being famous). But today I focused on a query assigned to me by Laurel, my wife. "WIll our dog, Serena, comfortably fit into the Nissan Leaf electric car that we're poised to buy? We'd made a stab at answering this question during our first test drive, learning that the $250 cargo floor organizer included by the manufacturer on the car earmarked for us produces…
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Posted inHome life

What I learned from a cut phone line

Life has a way of teaching me lessons, even though I have no idea who the instructor is. I mean, who the hell is this guy called "Life" anyway? Everybody talks about him, but I've never seen the dude. Well, whoever or whatever LIfe is, here's what I learned today: don't assume; keep your cool; be positive about people until you can't help being negative. This was a pretty weird experience, now that I think about it in the calm of a pleasantly cool September Oregon evening, blogging on our deck while listening to nearby crickets cricketing and distant owls…
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